Is it Leprous?

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Is it Leprous?
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Oh man, you're right! This pie looks terribly unwell... just look at those red spots pepperoni-ing his skin! - Matty Malaprop

Shrimp On the Barbie!

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Shrimp On the Barbie!
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... but just long enough to blanche them. If you Kendoll the flame too much, you might singe their blonde tips! - Matty Malaprop

The Only Kind That Doesn't Kill the Vibe

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The Only Kind That Doesn't Kill the Vibe
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Though I suppose a stopped bottle of wine is a bit less inviting than an unstopped one... - Matty Malaprop

This Could Only Be Better Under One Circumstance...

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This Could Only Be Better Under One Circumstance...
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... and that circumstance would be if his name was Fuddyduddy Fop. #HaveIMentionedILoveTheTermFuddyDuddy? - Matty Malaprop

He Made You Some Hotdogs, But He Eated Them

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He Made You Some Hotdogs, But He Eated Them
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Further proof that the hazards of wiener dog ownership are many and varied. - Matty Malaprop

You can has moar goggies over here!