Think Big. No, Bigger. Wait, Too Big. Reign it in a Bit, Will Ya?

Favorite
idea,idiom,misinterpretation,literalism,double meaning,big idea
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I was really just curious why you showed up for work three hours late, but let's slap a patent on these bad boys and go to town! - Matty Malaprop

ICWUDT, Nick Grabbe

Favorite
abbreviation,ap style,con,con man,conn,Connecticut,double meaning,literalism,misinterpretation
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Except who am I even kidding? I worked for a newspaper for long enough to know that staff writers ALMOST NEVER write headlines. Mostly because they suck at it, but also because editors are way too control-freakish to allow that sort of thing. #SpeakingFromExperience - Matty Malaprop

Following Instructions to the Letter

Favorite
dinner,directions,double meaning,film,Hall of Fame,instructions,literalism,microwave,microwave dinner,misinterpretation,remove,sleeve
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CURSE YOU PORK & CARAMELISED CHESTNUT STUFFING I DID EXACTLY AS YOU COMMANDED SO WHY WILL YOU STILL NOT COOK FOR ME?? - Matty Malaprop

The Perfect Date

Favorite
date,double meaning,Hall of Fame,literalism,misinterpretation,perfect
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High expectations are one thing, but date-specific expectations? Come on now, that's just unrealistic! - Matty Malaprop

DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Favorite
standing,sign,shoulder,disobedience,misinterpretation,literalism,no
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You're not my real dad, construction crew that put up this sign! - Matty Malaprop