THIS IS ALL JUST ONE BIG MISUNDERSTANDING!

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THIS IS ALL JUST ONE BIG MISUNDERSTANDING!
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Are you sure your friend is baking a cake? Or are the beaters here because she's whipping up a hearty breakfast featuring a big ol' stack of quaffles? #GROAN - Matty Malaprop

Oh, You Said HEARING? Well This is Awkward...

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Oh, You Said HEARING? Well This is Awkward...
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I mean, do you have any idea how much it costs to order a custom herring-sized spiked collar!? - Matty Malaprop

Something Like That, Sure

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Something Like That, Sure
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Does this particular watt of lightbulb make my butt look big? - Matty Malaprop

It's Good for Your Vitruvian Manhood

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It's Good for Your Vitruvian Manhood
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But please remember to be mindful of the "photography" part of the "No Flash Photography" rule in the museum. - Matty Malaprop

ICWUDT, Nick Grabbe

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ICWUDT, Nick Grabbe
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Except who am I even kidding? I worked for a newspaper for long enough to know that staff writers ALMOST NEVER write headlines. Mostly because they suck at it, but also because editors are way too control-freakish to allow that sort of thing. #SpeakingFromExperience - Matty Malaprop