But Why Would One Ever Want to?

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doors,homophones,Lord of the Rings,misinterpretation,mordor,more,quote,similar sounding
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I mean seriously people, this isn't the damn Labyrinth we're talking about! And if David Bowie isn't waiting for me pelvis-out in a beautiful codpiece when I go through a door, well then I don't want to go through that door at all! - Matty Malaprop

No, I Meant Let's Make a Toast!

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Why is she being scolded for her behavior? I just don't see what the problem is here! - Matty Malaprop

Think Big. No, Bigger. Wait, Too Big. Reign it in a Bit, Will Ya?

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idea,idiom,misinterpretation,literalism,double meaning,big idea
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I was really just curious why you showed up for work three hours late, but let's slap a patent on these bad boys and go to town! - Matty Malaprop

Cuz Dime-ins Are a Girl's Best Friend

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In the case of these finger-flairs, they really are a dime a dozen! - Matty Malaprop

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