Could someone please explain this whole leather couch meme to me? It's a bit of an Alien concept in my mind... - Matty Malaprop

I like big bodies of mass, and I cannot lie. - Matty Malaprop

After a day at the races, there's nothing more satisfying than an afternoon spent tidying up around the house. That's not actually a true statement at all, but I couldn't figure out how else to fit a Queen pun into this write-up. - Matty Malaprop

Before any of you say anything; I really, really, really loathe myself already for posting this. Thanks. - Matty Malaprop

So here's the thing. This is a möbius strip. This is a Mobius Band. DON'T GET IT TWISTED (LOL LIKE A MOBIUS STRIP IS) GUYS! - Matty Malaprop

My mom always told me the tug life was a trap. She said there was no long-term appeal for living life on the ropes like that. - Matty Malaprop

It's obvious to all of us; the tensions around here are most definitely rising. The stern stairs coming from everyone should have been the first sign of trouble. - Matty Malaprop