impossible

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS Make an artificial anus

IN SOVIET RUSSIA...

12 1/2 MILES AN HOUR Because, really, sometimes reasonable speed limits are unacceptable.

SADLY it does not work

I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS SHOPPED Because I've Seen A Few Shops In My Day

THE JEDI WEEKLY Sports Edition

WATERMELON CART For when you need your watermelon on the go

PROFESSOR SHEPPARD Renders your higher education worthless

KEEP YOUR EYES On the prize

DAMN YOU THERMODYNAMICS Always ruining everything

SEEMS LEGIT

I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING

LENINADE Apparently they needed something more Russian than Vodka.