People who don't go to standup shows think that standup comedy is an incredibly cool art form. These fools believe that only the most hilarious and intelligent people can do standup, and anybody who does it must be a comedic genius. Luckily for them, they are 100% incorrect! Standup comedy shows are breeding grounds for humiliation and failure. Most of the people who do standup are not very good at it. If you ever want a surefire way to feel good about yourself, go to an open mic in a midsized…

Congratulations, internet user. Somehow, through sheer motivation, or perhaps, more realistically, resignation, you have made it to the end of the week. How does it feel? If it doesn't feel like something that should be congratulated, then you're right with us. We didn't consent to being born, and we certainly didn't consent to an existence that makes us feel like we've accomplished some grand task. Life shouldn't feel like an endless cycle of suffering with tiny breaks in between, and if we ar…

Happy November, y'all. October was kind of a month. I'm sure a lot of stuff happened, but it's already a blur. Kanye West was Kanye West-ing, Elon Musk brought a damn sink into Twitter HQ , and Halloween happened for what felt like a week straight. Those events are enough on their own, but we're definitely missing a lot. One thing we're not forgetting is the wealth of hilarious, weird, and relatable tweets shot into the world by people who probably spend way too much time on the internet. In fa…

Hold up...

It's long been said that variety is the spice of life. If the sentiment is to believed, then the things we call memes are a spice level 5, like they refuse to serve me at the Thai restaurant. You see, if it exists, there are memes about it. We've covered everything from knitting memes to forklift operator memes , and those two incredibly specific subjects are teeny drops in a Texas-sized, meme-filled bucket. The memes we love are as varied as the people who make them, and if we start thinking a…

Greetings, Internet users and abusers. It's another day on the beautiful, chaotic, and often cringey world wide web. The Internet is a problematic place, filled with unpleasantries, and the same memes being posted over and over again. But what would we do without it? For starters, I wouldn't have a job. All the conveniences we've grown so used to (and cost so much) would be gone - our smartphones rendered nearly useless. We'd be back to basics. And maybe we'd be happier. But as much as we gripe…

Look out for extra fingers

Is he done for real this time?

Let's be honest: millions and millions of memes are circulating the worldwide web at any given time. People are making them, sharing them, and resharing them at record-breaking rates. The unfortunate truth about this proliferation of memes is that most of them are not very good. It's not their fault! I am not here to meme-shame anyone, but rather tell you the truth, and the truthful state of the majority of memes is not good. The quality of the average meme is close to the quality of the averag…

Anyone who's been on TikTok in the past four years knows that it's a deep dark place. I joined the app in the fall of 2019 and could feel it affecting my brain chemistry at an astronomical rate. It felt like one of the few uncensored social media sites back then. What rattled me the most was how cruel and insane TikTok comments were. People, primarily kids, were saying horrible things to people on an unprecedented scale. Since then, TikTok has only grown bigger. The worst and best part about Ti…

We've got it all!

I feel like everyone has been in the state of mind where you often tell yourself, “I just have to get through this week.” Of course, when you inevitably get through the week, you start thinking the same thing the next week. This can be a red flag that maybe, just maybe, you're going through an objectively difficult period of your life. But at the same time, it can be the greatest cope known to man. Even if it feels futile, I'm glad we have cute little coping mechanisms like telling ourselves we…

You know what you're getting into!

Usually, when you go to a restaurant, you get two options for your side dish: french fries or salad . There is one glorious restaurant where if you even ask for fries or salad as your side, you will be laughed out of the establishment because of your gross incompetence. I'm talking, of course, about one of the only drive-in restaurants left in America, Sonic Drive-In. If you've never been to a Sonic, it's difficult to describe the experience. Imagine a fast food place that sits on a hearty foun…

Take your time

It is said that variety is the spice of life. Unfortunately, my life is bland as hell. It reminds me of all those annoying memes about how white people don't season their food. Just so you know, I do season my food , but I also spend most of my time at a sterile desk in a mind-numbing open office plan, wondering when I will be free from this incredibly boring cyclical hell. I could quit my job, but listen. I've got a couple fussy cats to feed. And I wouldn't dare do that to them. So instead of…