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People Confess To What They'd Do With 48 Hours Of Frozen Time

If you disregard the physics of time actually 'stopping' and what that would mean, essentially the real question becomes: If you had 48 hours to do anything you wanted, what would you do? According to the answers in this r/AskReddit thread, people generally fall into two categories—those who would do crime and those who would prank as many people as possible. A handful of the busier redditors would love to just do nothing for once. We've collected some of the most amusing answers from this popular thread. It's hard to read through these without considering all the different possibilities, which makes for a pretty fun daydream session. 

reddit, funny comments, funny, social media, askreddit, funny threads | Time freezes 48 hours and only thing not affected do choose do? Brassknuckletime 3h Crime Reply 314 OneSchott 1h So much crime. 153 Canduffi 1h So so much crime 29 KillerChicken506 1h so so so much crime 18 MemeLocationMan 1h So So So So much crime 10 TrippyAT 1h So so so so so much crime
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Memes & Tweets About Nevada's Apparent Inability To Count Votes

The entire world waiting on f***ing Nevada to reveal the fate of America literally might be the most 2020 thing of all time. The growing impatience is palpable all over social media and people are enduring the agonizing delay with the help of memes. At least we're all experts at entertaining ourselves through major historic events! We've put together some of the funniest posts about the sluggish Nevada election results.

2020 election, funny memes, funny tweets, twitter, social media, donald trump, joe biden, nevada | ziwe @ziwe can hurry and count votes? Nevada: No don't think will. Old Captain America | world waiting see who next US President is Nevada receptionist playing solitaire instead of dealing with busy line
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Americans Cope With A Demented Electoral Process Through Memes

Where are we? What day is it? Last night felt more like an entire week. America is still trapped in the dark void of election purgatory as votes continue to get counted in key states. It's been interesting to say the least. Despite record voter turnout numbers, the larger part of last night looked like a horse race between the two conspicuously unpopular candidates. As expected, Twitter has done a pretty good job of expressing its jaded feelings and exasperation for the whole process through glorious memes. We've picked out some of the funniest memes and tweets from last night.

funny memes, dank memes, 2020 memes, election 2020, politics, political memes, funny tweets, twitter, 2020 memes, donald trump, joe biden | 2020 going started: sufferingsapphomemes Voted dog sitting in a burning room with an "i voted" sticker on | Mindy Kaling looking sad with a sticker
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Hilarious Times People Misspelled Words In The Cringiest Ways

While these misspellings make us cringe to our cores, we also appreciate these oblivious souls for giving us some prime entertainment - and making us feel a little better about our own intellectual capabilities. Enjoy!

Funny posts on social media where people misspelled words in entertaining ways | if don't get 300 followers by end july quitting 530 likes P'm sick and tired this shit fuck Instagram algae rhythm whatever shit is called | There is just no winning this life accept feet. and 78 others 18 Comments Like Comment
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Troubled People Who Should Delete Facebook Immediately

Facebook is a well-oiled machine of countless echo-chambers that rarely interact with each other. Thanks to subreddits like r/insanepeoplefacebook, we can glimpse into various Facebook worlds where volcanoes are a hoax, DIY pet cremation is a thing, and Trump can literally impregnate women through their dreams. We've got a disconcerting batch of posts full of nonsense and cringe for the brave souls out there. 

cringe, facebook, social media, funny, comments, conspiracy, facepalm | Omg word advice, NEVER try cremate deceased pet oven Not only is worst smell imaginable they do not turn ashes they just burn this day did not start off good! | 7 months ago had beautiful dream making love President Donald Trump! Shortly after found out pregnant with his BABY! GOD SENT DONALD TRUMP SAVE US ALL AND THROUGH HIS SON WILL BE BORN AM SO BLESSED GOD CHOSE THIS IMMACULATE CONCEPTION NO COINCIDENCE OUR NEW SAVIOR
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Cringey Nice Guys Who Need To Cool It With The Role-Play Speak

What is it with Nice Guystm and role-playing? This should go without saying, but we don't like that sh*t, so although this might seem harsh, we're doing you a service here. Dudes, if you're reading this, we hate that we have to remind you not to do this, but here we are.

Cringe posts, nice guys, facepalm | *looks my feet shyly and then youre pretty smart girl know right *blushes* Um pretty sure other girls are smart eyes widen bit surprise* THINKS MYSELF: oh no oh no she didnt like W-well its just boilogy men are smarter have higher IQ's on average. Like my IQ is 159 Anyway lets move on smiles cheerfully going block now *looks shock why thought were nice but youre actually birch guess all women are same now sighs, then sadly blocks before can block Aa |
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Russian Oligarch Known As 'Sausage King' Murdered With Crossbow In Sauna

This week in surreal 2020 headlines: Russian meat mogul Vladimir 'Sausage King' Marugov was found dead in his Moscow home early Monday morning after intruders invaded Sausage King's sauna, tied him and his partner up, demanded cash, and shot him with a crossbow. The woman managed to flee and call for help, though the assailants escaped in a getaway car before the police arrived.

As soon as word of the Sausage King butchery hit the front-pages, Twitter erupted with meat puns, hypothetical 2020 bingo card quips, and tongue-in-cheek speculations about the possible involvement of fictional Ferris Bueller character Abe Froman, Sausage King of Chicago. We've put together some of the funniest reactions to the bizarre Russian headline. 

funny tweets, twitter, social media, weird news, current events, 2020, memes | hail the sausage king man opening coat to reveal many sausages | Mmmm Cupcakes @NotMaryJoLisa Replying to @BBCWorld This has some strong Game of Thrones meets Ferris Beuller undertones. PCR RitesGood @pcrritesgood "The most ambitious crossover event in history!
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39 Fresh Tweets From The Joke Experts Of Twitter

It's time for another round of recent tweets from the casual comedy talents of Twitter. We're always impressed by the rate at which people can churn out the jokes everyday—it's like their brains are highly efficient machines spitting out joke after joke onto a conveyor belt being fed right into Twitter. Damn. Enjoy these pleasant zingers and may they brighten your day.

funny tweets, twitter, funny memes, social media, jokes | Danya @dxxnya they look like this dasani water sucks @helloit 2020-10-14 do u know if mushrooms are bad mushroom with a shotgun | FROVO fro_vo course moon has water where do think rain comes idiot
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Kanye Gave Kim A Holographic Deepfake Of Her Late Father

Remember the time Kanye kidnapped Kenny G and had him perform in the middle of a room full of roses as a Valentine's gift to Kim Kardashian? Well, we didn't think it was possible, but he really one-upped himself with his latest stunt. At Kim's extravagant birthday getaway on some private island, Kanye arranged a simulated reunion with her dead dad. Yup. Kim and her sisters were led into a dark room to greet a holographic deepfake of Robert Kardashian doing a (totally human) little dance and delivering a bizarre monologue from heaven about how much he misses the family and what a genius Kanye West is.

Almost immediately after Kim tweeted a video of the hologram, Twitter predictably exploded with jokes and bewilderment. You'd think that by now we'd all be immune to bizarre and outrageous cultural events, but man, this demented year keeps delivering the weirdness at an impressive rate. We've put together some of the best Twitter reactions to the garish birthday gift.

kanye west, kim kardashian, funny tweets, viral videos, twitter, social media, deep fake, hologram | Kim Kardashian West @KimKardashian For my birthday, Kanye got me the most thoughtful gift of a lifetime. A special surprise from heaven. A hologram of my dad. It is so lifelike! We watched it over and over, filled with emotion.
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Sarah Palin's Bizarre Home Video Has Twitter Confused

What is going on with these politicians? They're beginning to make the art of parody futile with these recurring shows of madness. Last month, former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin posted a home video in which she calls out Senator Lisa Murkowski for not supporting President Trump's decision to nominate a Supreme Court justice. Sounds simple enough, but the clip itself takes some effort to decipher. The video starts with the words 'Dear Lisa' superimposed over Palin as she says, "Lisa Murkowski, this is my house." She continues to exclaim "this is my house" several more times, as if she was trying out different cadences but forgot to exclude the outtakes. The whole thing was shot and edited like a Godard film—jump cuts in the middle of sentences, sudden closeups in black and white, dutch angles with debris in the middle of the frame—you have to wonder if calling out Murkowski was just Palin's excuse to come out as an avant garde filmmaker. And then there's her performance, which is really something else. Forget Tina Fey—imagine Conner O'Malley playing Sarah Palin. At the end of the video, she points out into the distance and says, "I can see a lot of things from my house...Lisa, I can see 2022 from my house." Was this both a vague threat to challenge Murkowski's senate seat and a reference to the infamous 'I can see Russia from my house' 2008 SNL gag? 

The video Palin initially posted to her personal Instagram account was mostly seen by her followers and supporters, and so for the first few weeks it slipped under the radar, but a shorter version was recently shared on Twitter to a much wider audience. We've included the short version of the video, some amusing replies from one Twitter thread, and the original Instagram video posted by Sarah Palin

Viral Videos, Funny Tweets, Twitter, Instagram, Sarah Palin, Politics, Presidential Election | Sarah Palin filming herself Dear Lisa
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Rudy Giuliani's Role In 'Borat 2' Is Twitter's Scandal Of The Day

It's been a big week for creepy old men who like to whip it out. Jeffrey Toobin is probably sighing in relief right now as Twitter explodes over 'Borat 2' spoilers. The eyebrow-raising scene in question involves an awkward hotel room meeting between former mayor of New York City Rudy Giuliani and an actress playing Borat's 15-year-old daughter. In some leaked stills from the scene, Giuliani is seen lying on a bed with his hand down his pants as he peers at the 24-year-old actress, at which point Borat apparently bursts into the room and says: "She's 15. She's too old for you." 

The film will be released to the public on Friday, but that hasn't stopped Twitter from churning out pre-emptive hot takes and memes based on the outrageous still images. Giuliani was quick to tweet about the incident and deny any wrongdoing, which only spurred even more spicy responses. Thanks for another batshit week for the internet, 2020

Funny Tweets, Twitter, Epic Fail, Politics, Rudy Giuliani, Borat | Here's Rudy Giuliani, the personal attorney to the President of the United States. A still picture of Rudy from the Borat movie coming out on Friday. Cant wait.. Sasha Baron Cohen removing a Donald Trump mask
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KFC Spain Is Taking Over Twitter With Cursed Shitposts

Brands appealing to consumers on social media is nothing new. Fast food chains Wendy's and Denny's have both received a lot of attention for bringing spicy roasts and absurd memes to the masses. Though we appreciate their efforts (especially Denny's puzzling Instagram feed), we can't help but realize we're eating up their social media strategy like hungry wolves. As professional consumers of content, we prefer a little nuance where brand pandering is concerned. That's why we've fallen in love with the absolutely unhinged humor that @KFC_ES has been serving up on Twitter.

While the KFC Spain Twitter account has been serving up memes for quite a while, over the last couple weeks they seem to have upped the shitpost ante with highly cursed images and memes that only a seasoned shitposter could appreciate. Best of all? They're not just pretending to reach a specific audience. Tired of the way brands do the "fellow kids" thing on social media, KFC Spain wants to do things differently. We spoke with one of their community managers, who revealed that they're just trying to use Twitter as a "regular shitposter" to join the conversation instead of forcing anything. Judging by the insane engagement they've been receiving, they're definitely doing things right. We've put some of their latest and greatest work in this gallery, but you should probably go ahead and follow the account for more cursed goodness. Whatever they churn out will be anything but boring.

Article about how KFC Spain @kfc_es is using Twitter to share cursed images and shitposts instead of just pandering to their audience on social media, funny tweets | single fried chicken drum | Cornn Flaek cryptid eating from a bucket of KFC fried chicken
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Twitter Reacts To AOC's Smash-Hit Among Us Twitch Stream

Last night Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez hosted her debut Twitch stream of an epic Among Us session with some popular streamers, including Rep. Ilhan Omar, Pokimane, DrLupo, HasanAbi, Disguised Toast, Corpse, and more. The stream peaked at 430k views, making it the third most-watched Twitch stream ever after Ninja and Shroud. Bernie Sanders' and Donald Trump's streams didn't even come close. 

Twitter was largely smitten with AOC and her genuine enjoyment of the game. After a first round of getting a feel for it, she quickly proved she was a natural. Of course, the spectacle wasn't just about fun and games. AOC took the opportunity to talk about healthcare and encourage the audience to vote (she is a politician, after all). Many on Twitter found the stream to be a refreshing new take on a political rally that managed to avoid feeling too contrived or cringe. A few meme-minded tweeters did their thing and photoshopped AOC into some less wholesome gameplay, including a certain infamous PewDiePie moment. We've collected some of the top Twitter highlights and reactions to the viral stream.

Funny Tweets, Funny Memes, Twitter, Twitch Stream, Politics, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, Among Us, Video Games | Custom Settings Map: The Skeld # Impostors: 2 Impostor Confirm Ejects: Off Emergency Meetings: 1 Anonymous Votes: Off Emergeocy Cooldown: 20s Discussion Time: 15s MY8h SIIhÅn s Voting Time: 90s Player Speed' 1.25x Crewmate Vision: 0.5x Impostor Vision: 1.5x Kill Cooldown: 22.5s Kill Distance: Short Task Bar Meetings Visual Tasks: Off # Common Tasks: O hasanabi maia•— Lupo Toast # Long
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Memes That Roast The Attention-Seeking Ways Of YouTubers

We all know that YouTube vloggers have histrionic tendencies, but these memes really take it to the next level. We need more.

Funny memes about vloggers, story time | CoolDotCom Friend spilled water on Youtuber: sorry let help clean up Youtuber SAVED MY FRIEND DROWNING Storytime | Barista s Stephanie with ph, right? YouTuber: um yeah 'd know Barista: idk just guessed YouTuber: MY STARBUCKS STALKER STORYTIME
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18 Times Old People Made Facebook Better

We're here to give the elderly some serious props for trying to figure out technology. But sometimes (often) they fail. And it's so, so, so, entertaining. This may sound like some light bullying, but we are coming from a place of utmost respect, a place of undying appreciation for their ability to accidentally create the kind of wholesome content that the rest of us just need.

Funny facebook posts from old people who don't know how touse Facebook. | have nothing say is new. All know is have very unpleasant Granddaughter Follow Add Friend Message More | Love is going Pokémon hunting with husband so can keep up with our grandsons! Any special reason poop emoji background? Is is thought looked like chocolate pokemon!
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'Dinosaur Earth' Meme Account Argues Earth Is Actually Dinosaur-Shaped

If you spend way too much time on the internet like we do, you've probably heard about the 'flat earth' theory, but what do you know about dinosaur earth? Two years ago, an Instagram account called @dinosaurearth began posting memes that satirize the flat earth mindset and they've been going hard ever since. The concept is reminiscent of the first well-known internet trolls of belief systems, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The 'Dinosaur Earth Society' also have a Twitter account, where they often flaunt their rivalry with @FlatEarthOrg. As meme savants, we have deep respect for @dinosaurearth's dedication to throwing their spin on nearly every meme format in existence. We've put together twenty-one of the funniest @dinosaurearth posts for the (dinosaur) world to see. 

Funny Memes, Dank Memes, Conspiracy Theory, Dinosaur Earth, Flat Earth, Parody, Satire | astronaut pointing gun at another astronaut in space Wait Dinosaur? Always has been | earth dinosaur's teeth are snowy mountains
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