slang

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By Rachael Fogel
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Looks to me like Barbie finally got some tail! - Matty Malaprop

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It's actually refreshing, that question. Everyone just assumes I'm jam or preserves and moves on with it! Do you know how much it hurts to live your life misclassified? - Matty Malaprop

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Or even bad glockenspiels, for that matter. So much shrill plinking... - Matty Malaprop

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No wonder this broadcast is so terribly firetruck. - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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... but just long enough to blanche them. If you Kendoll the flame too much, you might singe their blonde tips! - Matty Malaprop

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You can't expect to be joined at the bit with someone without running into a few codependency issues... - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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I mean, if he can stitch up a Rhino, then certainly he should have no trouble doing the same thing to a Heavy, right? - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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BOYFRIEND'S "LIGHTSABER" so that's what the kids are calling it these days

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It's not all bad though. At the very least, they discharged him from the U.S. Oven with a Purple Heart baked into his frosting uniform. - Matty Malaprop

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If he seems mopey when you find him, don't worry too much about it. He's always been Kind of Blue. - Matty Malaprop

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Just kidding Montana you know I love you! ... but seriously Gallatin Gateway you're like two trucker hats away from a redneck convention. - Matty Malaprop

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By miloh
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Oh man, you're right! This pie looks terribly unwell... just look at those red spots pepperoni-ing his skin! - Matty Malaprop

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Though I suppose a stopped bottle of wine is a bit less inviting than an unstopped one... - Matty Malaprop