Just a bunch of funny tweets

I remember dissecting my owl pellet like it was yesterday. I was in 4th grade and I was sick at home with the chickenpox. I'd been really looking forward the owl pellet project and so when I caught my little sister's infection, I was super bummed out. My best friend at the time was nice enough to offer bringing a pellet and tools to my house so that I could do mine at home. My mom was reluctant at first, but she gave in. It was for science, after all. Feverish and covered in bright red pox, I j…

We all hear it from parents at some point. When I was your age, I had to walk twenty miles just to buy a carton of milk. When I was your age, we didn't have electricity, plumbing, beds, or clothes. When I was your age, I literally wasn't allowed to breathe. So think about that next time you complain about anything, ever! We get it, things sucked when you were younger. But guess what? Everything is relative. Which means your specific flavor of generational suffering doesn't make your kid's suffe…

Servers are the unsung warriors of the restaurant industry . On top of being expected to maintain an impeccable memory under extreme pressure, servers have to swallow their pride and put on a smile while taking abuse from unreasonable Karens, splitting checks between dozens of drunk college students, and making sure glasses are never empty. And what do servers get in the end? Just enough tips to pay the rent and years of stress dreams about serving to look forward to. When @roastmalone_ tweeted…

The brain tends to go on autopilot when "polite mode" is triggered

Twitter is a joke factory

Unless something insane is happening in the world, Twitter usually just feels like a machine of tedious and predictable content, always churning out the same stolen jokes, hot takes, bad dating advice, or things that didn't happen. But if you spend some time separating the wheat from the chaff, Twitter doesn't look so bad. That's why we've rescued all the best recent tweets from the dumpster fire that is Twitter dot com. Now you can enjoy the website without even logging on!

How DARE they

Only the good stuff from Twitter

Get into the meme zone

Fresh from the bird app

Anyone else feel depressed for the last few years?

It's hard to read someone's emotions through text. In fact, sometimes it's damn near impossible, especially if you're speaking to someone with particularly dry humor. Even the most subtle facial expressions can give us hints about the intention behind words. Without emotional cues, anything said is left up to blind interpretation. That's why people often turn to emojis and initialisms in text to make up for the missing facial expressions. When @SpookyGothLoser posted a meme criticizing the use o

Are emails really better than meetings, or do they both suck?

Twitter excellence.