Greetings, Internet users and abusers. It's another day on the beautiful, chaotic, and often cringey world wide web. The Internet is a problematic place, filled with unpleasantries, and the same memes being posted over and over again. But what would we do without it? For starters, I wouldn't have a job. All the conveniences we've grown so used to (and cost so much) would be gone - our smartphones rendered nearly useless. We'd be back to basics. And maybe we'd be happier. But as much as we gripe…

Greetings, internet users and abusers. It's Thursday, January 26th, and today feels just like any other. I got up, got out of bed, dragged a comb (brush) across my head. I opened up my ThinkPad and went to Twitter.com like I do every day from Monday to Friday. As per usual, I almost immediately closed the laptop and prayed to the powers that be. Why? Because perusing Twitter for quality content can be so disheartening. Fortunately, betwixt the rantings and ravings of political lunatics, and the…

A lot of people have been talking about how Elon Musk ruined Twitter. While the dude is undeniably insufferable, we regret to inform these folks that the app has almost always been iffy at best. Sure, there's a lot to be laughed at (and learned about) on Twitter, but there's also a lot that scares us. Pompous incels spouting dangerous vitriol , political know-it-alls who love reading their own words, and those people who really, really need to touch grass one of these days. To say that Twitter…

Greetings, internet users and abusers. It's hump day which means we should feel a little bit of time-related optimism as we're supposed to be halfway through the week, or getting over the proverbial hump. Unfortunately, for many of us, time seems to move more slowly the closer we get to Friday, so the respite of the weekend feels like it's eons away. To make this time move more quickly, it's good to have an array of distractions to get you through the week. For me, it's been tough because I jus…

Why are are these okay?

Happy Thursday, friends, lovers, and Internet addicts. It's only been a few days since we updated you with a bounty of fresh tweets, but we're back with more. It's been quite a week on the “Bird App.” I learned about Hobo Johnson, and wish I could get the minutes I spent listening to that garbage back. Somehow, the artist has been trending for nearly a week. Add that to the Andrew Callaghan allegations , gas stove drama, and various forms of rabid rants, and we're almost ready to deactivate. Ju…

Happy Tuesday, Internet users and abusers. It's already been quite a week here on the world wide web, and that often has something to do with real-life drama. Last week we celebrated (lol) the one-year anniversary of the January 6th insurrection, and weirdly enough, it seems that while Jair Bolsonaro is sadly dragging his feet around the KFCs and Publix supermarkets of Orlando, Florida, his supporters decided to emulate Trump's rabid fanbase and cause what was, perhaps, an even bigger ruckus at…

Greetings, internet explorers and post-appreciators. If you've been avoiding Twitter thanks to Elon Musk , or have never composed a short and sweet tweet simply because you didn't want to, we don't blame you. The ol' bird app can definitely be intimidating. It can also be downright unpleasant if you say the wrong thing or enter the wrong area of the website. With that said, we do enjoy indulging in the witticisms of the people who do the app justice with their wit, wisdom, or even endearing stu…

Greetings, internet friends. Hope the bizarre limbo between Christmas and New Year's Day is treating you well. For many of us, it feels like a blur. A calorie-laden, lazy, and hopefully comfortable blur. While it's a blur for me, too, it's like one percent as chaotic as the actual holidays we were celebrating a few days ago. My parents' home was filled with dogs - large dogs, barking dogs , and one of them was a puppy. Between the chaotic canines, and my family's love of talking over one anothe…

Happy Boxing Day, or, "Day of Fatness and Dehydration" as we like to call it. It was a pretty meh weekend, but as my mom says we're pretty lucky. While we stayed inside during the 6-degree cold snap in the Northeast, people a mere 50 miles away from us were without heat or power, and some even froze to death. So it's best to count our blessings. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for us counting our miniscule blessings doesn't take very much time, which leaves a pretty big void to fill with some so…

We believe that wasting time should be a simple endeavor. The sad truth is that time passes by all too quickly. Even though humans today have a zillion different technologies, apps, and streaming services to help us procrastinate and while away the hours , there are still road blocks that keep us from making the most of our free time. While sometimes the roadblocks come in the form of a crappy internet connection or a dead phone, more often than not we're simply blessed with the kinds content t…

It kind of feels like ADHD discourse has been at an all-time high. Everyone on Twitter seems to be discussing the disorder, and our advertisements on other social media sites always seem to do with acquiring medication for the issue, or receiving counseling for it. There's a reason for this. Over the past few years, it's become clear that attention deficit disorder manifests itself in many different ways - it's not just feeling fidgety or having a poor attention span. I recently was diagnosed m…

Hello, internet explorers. Is it just me, or is anyone else having a harder time than usual grappling with their internet addiction? I kind of have some theories as to why. You see, at least here in the Northeast, things are getting a wee bit cold. They are also (sadly) getting a whole lot darker. Just a few days ago I was walking home at just past five, and it was basically dark as night. It was more than a bit alarming, especially as someone who has to work in an office all throughout the dre…

It's finally here. The weekend. Many of you might be going shopping for the holidays , or getting cozy at home making some kind of project meal. I decided that I'll be making my dad's famous chili. It's a flavorful dish full of chunks of braised beef, two kinds of beans, and at least four kinds of peppers. The only problem is I'm not just doing this for fun. I'm doing it because I'm stuck in the house with Covid-19. I'm willing to bet that there are others like me, struck down after a family an…

Well. It's happened. I've gone and contracted Covid-19 again. It started small - with a little scratch in my throat and a low cough. Every year, without fail, I'll get sick with some flu or sinus matter, and then it always turns into bronchitis. So I thought I was cool. But no. I'm stuck in my room typing away with the piddling amount of strength I have left, fighting off the fever and phlegm. Lovely, right? Anyway. When I'm sick as a dog, most of the joy that is derived from everyday life gets…

I just absolutely love waking up each day, wondering how the hell Elon Musk will manage to screw Twitter up more than he already has. And by screw it up, we kind of mean make it better. Because while some people may think they're tired, the parody accounts are simply killing it lately. And by killing it, we kind of (definitely) mean causing predatory companies to lose a f*ck ton of money. Anyway. We know that not everyone enjoys watching annoying people freak out about the inevitable demise of…