Nobody wants to be nervous all the time. Nothing is more fraught than feeling uneasy in every one of your social relationships. Anxiety might be a fairly common affliction, but that does not make it suck any less. If it gets bad enough, you might become a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown . I haven't seen that movie, but if I had to guess, I'd guess the titular woman suffers from anxiety. For me, the best ways to fight anxiety have been with meds and therapy, simple as that. In therapy,…

Listen, mister; these memes are good little memes . I promise they won't bother you at all. If you ask each of these memes the same questions in different rooms, they will all give you the same answer. That's how good these young whippersnappers are. These memes have never gotten into trouble before! If you leave them alone, I'll go home and give them a good talking to, you'll see. Please don't search the meme shed. I promise, there's nothing in there! Take it from me, an old geezer. I know whe…

Intelligence is fluid, and baby, my brain is extremely dry right now. I find it extremely funny when adults go around touting their high IQ scores from tests they took as prepubescent boy geniuses. I honestly believe there is no such thing as static, unchanging intellect. Being smart is something that you work at every day for your entire life, and as my Lyft driver from last Thursday said, “if you don't use it, you lose it.” The constant

I am known for having a really sharp memory. I remember things that nobody else in my family or friend groups does, and I am especially skilled at remembering dates. If anyone can't recall my cousin's wedding anniversary , they know who to call. One of the only things that I am terrible at remembering is drama, especially somebody telling me about the drama in their life. For some reason, my brain does not want me to hold on to any of that; honestly, I think I'm better for it. There is little t…

Have y'all ever heard of the Public Universal Friend ? The Friend was a genderless Quaker preacher whom I think about at least once a month. Before they became the Public Universal Friend, they went by the name Jemima Wilkinson and lived in Rhode Island in the mid-1700s. After suffering from a nearly deadly fever, they woke up and announced that Jemima Wilkinson had died and had received messages from God and archangels. The Friend further said that Wilkinson's soul had ascended to heaven, and…

It's finally here. The weekend. Many of you might be going shopping for the holidays , or getting cozy at home making some kind of project meal. I decided that I'll be making my dad's famous chili. It's a flavorful dish full of chunks of braised beef, two kinds of beans, and at least four kinds of peppers. The only problem is I'm not just doing this for fun. I'm doing it because I'm stuck in the house with Covid-19. I'm willing to bet that there are others like me, struck down after a family an…

We've got a fresh hot list of memes for one Mr. Rand Om? Is there a Randy Om in the room? Randolph Om, are you present? No? What a waste. Coming up with clever and funny pun names are one of the few instances where I find the art of punning vaguely tolerable. My friends and I keep a list of different pun names we think of and they range from incredible to abominable: Collin Response, Jaqueline Turn, Miss Taken Identity, Patty O'Furniture, Heather Interior, Cathy Lick. The list goes on and on. P…

Life is short. It's often cruel and thankless, as well. I, for one, spend many an evening staring at my tv, exhausted from my work, wondering what the point is. It does feel pointless, though, doesn't it? Slog along making next to no money so that some person who is already richer than I'll ever be can make even more of it? Not the most enjoyable situation. That's why we like to take healthy breaks whenever possible. Breaks that allow us to pursue our interests, to pursue stuff that makes us la…

Back in seventh grade I didn't have many friends. Another thing I lacked was any kind of allowance. My mom gave me $1 a day for school lunch, while the other kids were able to walk around the neighborhood with five big ones, buying pizza or doughnuts for their lunch. Some girls would even make the trek to CVS or Rite Aid and spend their ample “lunch” money on makeup. Because I wasn't blessed with cash, I started stealing. First I stole ice cream from the crowded delis at lunch hour. Then it was…

Some of these make a little too much sense

Just a bunch of funny tweets

Short and sweet.

Fresh from the bird app

Few inventions throughout history have summed up the truly bizarre experience of being alive better than Twitter. No passing thought or strange event can go undocumented, opening us up to a whole new world of unexpected entertainment. From the sublime to the ridiculous, Twitter exposes us to everything human nature has to offer when it spends a little too much time on the internet. And in a way, that’s kind of beautiful.

Sometimes Twitter is a straight up comedy factory

Only the freshest tweets