Do you ever get tired of your own thoughts ? I know I do. Especially the damn intrusive ones. Ever since I was a little kid, bleak thoughts would creep into my mind, distracting me from real life and preventing me from living in the present. Thoughts about death, thoughts about sickness, thoughts about the ails of the world. The older I get, the darker and more uninviting the world seems. So the thoughts persist, weaseling their way into my brain and turning neutral moments into negative ones.…

What items would you bring if you were stranded on a desert island? I have no clue. People ask this question to gauge what others want to do in their final moments on earth if they are stranded and alone . I feel like giving a survivalist answer to this question is such a cop-out. If you were actually on a desert island, you would probably want a knife, a lighter, and a communication device, but those answers are boring. I want fantasy! I want to know what music you will listen to when you take…

Let it all out

Hey man, you're pretty trustworthy; can I tell you a little secret? I've got 28 immaculately crafted memes lying just below this message. I know that you can handle them. Don't go around telling everybody about these memes. I'm serious! I'm definitely not using any reverse psychology as we speak. You better not share this perfectly curated list of memes to your Facebook feed or send it to your most active groupchat. You're going to be really sorry if you tell your coworkers or your family about…

Twitter is a place where online culture is created. That can be said of any number of social media sites, but Twitter is one that transcends the website and enters popular culture. Have you ever watched a movie and thought, “This sounds like it was written by a robot whose only exposure to humans is through Twitter discourse.” I had that exact thought while watching the 2022 movie Bodies, Bodies, Bodies , and I'm not the only one. Occasionally, tweets become so iconic that nobody ever forgets w…

Do you still have the unbridled whimsy and joy of a child? Do you long to go back to being eight years old just for a day? Do you ever cry that you're never going to be a happy kid on Christmas morning ever again? To answer those questions: no, no, and never. I don't miss being a kid at all. When you're a kid, you can't go anywhere, do anything, and you have nothing. You've got less freedom than you'll ever have for the rest of your life. I'm not one of those adults who wants to watch kids' mov…

A moment in time

I am so glad I grew up offline. Don't get me wrong, I cherish and enjoy every single solitary second I spend on this sacred place we call “the internet.” However, I'm glad my uncensored access to the world wide web didn't begin until I was 12. I still grew up during the era when little kids didn't have phones, and we just watched the same episode of Hannah Montana over and over again to amuse ourselves. We were still flying our brains, but with Cartoon Network instead of TikTok. Kids no longer…

Happy day!

It's coming

Happy Tuesday, everybody! If you're not reading this on Tuesday, congratulations. You're already several steps ahead of everybody else, including me! I am standing here feeling extremely Tuesday-pilled while you might be living in Wednesday or even Thursday! Tuesday used to be one of my favorite days of the week because I always had a swell little extracurricular activity on Tuesday nights. These days, Tuesday is just another day and another dollar. Honestly, I think Thursday might be my least…

Send it to that special someone

Take your time

"Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share"

Maybe

Sending tweets to my friends is one of my passions. I love seeing a tweet in the wild, being reminded of one of my close personal friends, and swiftly sending them that tweet. It's my way of letting them know I'm thinking about them. Even when we're sitting in the same room, I prefer to send my friends tweets instead of reading them out loud. When you send others tweets, you're more likely to get a positive reaction than when you start reciting a tweet unannounced. I can't tell you how many tim…