Do you still have the unbridled whimsy and joy of a child? Do you long to go back to being eight years old just for a day? Do you ever cry that you're never going to be a happy kid on Christmas morning ever again? To answer those questions: no, no, and never. I don't miss being a kid at all. When you're a kid, you can't go anywhere, do anything, and you have nothing. You've got less freedom than you'll ever have for the rest of your life. I'm not one of those adults who wants to watch kids' mov…

A moment in time

I am so glad I grew up offline. Don't get me wrong, I cherish and enjoy every single solitary second I spend on this sacred place we call “the internet.” However, I'm glad my uncensored access to the world wide web didn't begin until I was 12. I still grew up during the era when little kids didn't have phones, and we just watched the same episode of Hannah Montana over and over again to amuse ourselves. We were still flying our brains, but with Cartoon Network instead of TikTok. Kids no longer…

Happy day!

It's coming

Happy Tuesday, everybody! If you're not reading this on Tuesday, congratulations. You're already several steps ahead of everybody else, including me! I am standing here feeling extremely Tuesday-pilled while you might be living in Wednesday or even Thursday! Tuesday used to be one of my favorite days of the week because I always had a swell little extracurricular activity on Tuesday nights. These days, Tuesday is just another day and another dollar. Honestly, I think Thursday might be my least…

We've got it all!

Send it to that special someone

Take your time

Very fancy

"Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share"

Maybe

Sending tweets to my friends is one of my passions. I love seeing a tweet in the wild, being reminded of one of my close personal friends, and swiftly sending them that tweet. It's my way of letting them know I'm thinking about them. Even when we're sitting in the same room, I prefer to send my friends tweets instead of reading them out loud. When you send others tweets, you're more likely to get a positive reaction than when you start reciting a tweet unannounced. I can't tell you how many tim…

If you're one of the millions of people who were born before the ubiquity of smartphones, you might feel like you're getting old when you go online. When I scroll through TikTok, and I see countless videos that are ⅓ Family Guy clips , ⅓ ASMR slime video, and ⅓ Subway Surfer gameplay, I wonder if I'm out of touch with the youngest generation of online users. Luckily, I don't think that the millennials and elder Gen Zers have anything to worry about. We were lucky enough to grow up during a time…

There's no way around it: Twitter has a tendency to feel like a Speaker's Corner on meth or maybe Adderall or Vyvanse. There are just so many inane thoughts being boldly flung into the Twitterverse at any given moment. The political rants, the TMI moments from oversharing individuals, the banal stories from bad or annoying mothers. That said, the app can actually be delightful when you manage to block out the Twitter slush and enjoy the rare comedic gems. It's taken us many years to block the a…

They smell fantastic!