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If the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, then it certainly doesn't rot far from it either. - Matty Malaprop

Further proof that 99 percent of all soft news articles are just otterly ridiculous. - Matty Malaprop

They were just too worried about passengers blacking out in fear, I guess. - Matty Malaprop

Where would journalism be without puns? Certainly not visiting phallological museums, that's for sure. - Matty Malaprop