I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret; I am not a parent. Despite this, my friends always tell me that they think I'd be a good mom. What does that say about me? I have no idea. My first theory is that I would be a good mom because I have incredible vibes, and I will pass those good vibes down through my bloodline without skipping a generation. Or possibly, I would be one of those strict, no-nonsense parents that can't stop bragging about how their 3-year-old has never seen a screen.…

One of the best things about memes is they aren't going anywhere anytime soon. It doesn't seem like memes are in danger of extinction, but you never know. As a kid, I was anxious about the entire internet deleting itself in a burning of the Library of Alexandria-esque crisis. This dilemma kept me up at night; If the internet got deleted, how would I watch the newest episode of Annoying Orange and Charlie the Unicorn? As I've grown older, I've found much more reasonable end-of-the-world scenario…

What would the internet be without memes ? Just a bunch of advertisements and obnoxious complaining. I don't even want to imagine an internet without memes. Instead of dwelling on nightmarish alternate realities, how about we all enjoy some nice and dumb memes together. We've got just the collection of funny randoms that'll make the day feel a little lighter.

If you know anything about Beyoncé fans, it's that they are fierce tweeters. As Beyoncé's single BREAK MY SOUL was released last night, the Bey Hive was up praising their queen. The response to the song was generally positive, but there was one aspect that stood out to fans in particular, and that was the anti-work themes of the song. The lyrics resist burnout, saying “Now, I just fell in love, and I just quit my job. I'm gonna find new drive, d*mn, they work me so damn hard. Work by nine then…

There's a long history of pitting introverts against extroverts, and a long history of stereotypes about the two. Introverts are supposed to be shy, boring, and antisocial, while extroverts are obnoxiously the opposite: loud, attention-seeking and annoying socialites. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the actual definition of introvert is as follows: “introvert: a person whose personality is characterized by introversion : a typically reserved or quiet person who tends to be introspe…

In the age of 'contact-free' delivery, courier services like DoorDash have come up with clever ways to provide proof of delivery. One would think that a simple photo of the fast food bag in front of the customer's door would suffice. But some Dashers have taken it a step further by snapping the photo at the moment of interception. The Dasher waits from a safe distance and goes into paparazzi mode once the hungry, pajama-clad customer cracks open the door like a goblin coming out of hibernation.

Do you ever think about how crazy it is that you can just make a person? It is wild that people worldwide can create a human life with nothing more than their body and their time. And a big white bird depending on who you ask. While creating a person can take minimal effort, raising a person is full of chaos, madness, and confusion. Parenthood is a commitment of multiple decades where you get no days off and it can take over your life. One of the most common issues for parents is not having tim…

He looks...good.

Entertaining is nothing new, but it's something I've done a lot more since the beginning of the pandemic. It's become something of a ritual with my friends. I whip up dinner, people bring wine, we laugh and then say our goodbyes until the next intimate soiree. The same is true for when my friends come by - either we each bring something to contribute (especially when we're whipping up pizza in the backyard) or we pool funds to order something if we are feeling lazy. Rarely, if ever, does money…

Pretending to be asleep can get people out of a lot of trouble. I used to feign slumber in the car to get out of climbing the stairs of our home and going to bed. I'm not sure which came first, my dad being unwilling to carry more or catching on to the ruse, but those days didn't last terribly long. This weekend, the internet learned that it's not only humans who turn to acting ( lying ) when faced with an undesirable situation. Apparently, horses will do this, too. At least that's what one clo…

Do you ever think about how kids are among the funniest demographic groups, but there are very few kid comedians? Children's unfiltered thoughts seem to pour out of them in hilarious ways before they get all bogged down with social skills, self-seriousness, and puberty. For those of us without little kids, we tend to miss out. Luckily for us, there is no shortage of parents on social media willing to share the darndest things their kids say. From dads enacting revenge on bullies through cartoon…

Twitter got a new main character yesterday. Writer Hanna Rosin went viral for her bad take in this now-deleted tweet. The movie in question, Fire Island , is a romantic comedy based on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice which follows a group of friends traveling to the titular gay vacation destination of Fire Island. Fans of the movie mocked Rosin for her take that a film about Asian gay men needed to pass the Bechdel test to have any merit. Some feminist film fans use the Bechdel test to determ…

We all know that one person whose lack of common sense makes you worry for their safety and wonder how they've made so far in life. I once had a roommate in college who called our landlord and complained that the washing machine was broken because the clothes kept coming out wet. Apparently he had never washed his own clothes before and assumed the washer was also a dryer. That same roommate once put his pet goldfish in a giant martini glass full of water, set it on the kitchen counter, and lef…

Hello. There is no time to waste. It's time to be real - cut the bullshit. We all know what we're here for. Memes. We need them. Meme consumers are almost as diverse as memes themselves - everyone loves them. Little kids make nonsensical memes when they used to make nonsensical jokes. Instead of a bizarre “knock knock” joke, we're getting images with words that just do not match up. Then there are the wine moms . And regular moms. The moms who live for Minion memes or jokes about all the wine t…

Oh my god. Raise your hand if you are sick to death of hearing about the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial. The multi-week affair has absolutely poisoned the internet, and despite the fact that it's over, it's still permeating every place where we usually find our memes. Trying to avoid people screaming about it is like trying to do gymnastics in a minefield - it just doesn't work. The situation has been so dire that we're having to lower our expectations of the memes. This batch is not our bes…

Every now and then I see something that makes me think “Holy crap, thank god I do not have children."