Let's be real: College sucks for a lot of reasons. The “Freshman Fifteen,” midterms and finals, essays that take you a million years to write and rewrite, only to rewrite again. I hated it all. But dealing with haughty, self-important professors may have been the absolute worst. I remember at University of Toronto, I had a professor who only assigned books he had written. This is a sure sign of a narcissist and someone who cares far more about their reputation and book sales than they do about…

I AM A SURGEON

Happy November, y'all. October was kind of a month. I'm sure a lot of stuff happened, but it's already a blur. Kanye West was Kanye West-ing, Elon Musk brought a damn sink into Twitter HQ , and Halloween happened for what felt like a week straight. Those events are enough on their own, but we're definitely missing a lot. One thing we're not forgetting is the wealth of hilarious, weird, and relatable tweets shot into the world by people who probably spend way too much time on the internet. In fa…

I am so glad I grew up offline. Don't get me wrong, I cherish and enjoy every single solitary second I spend on this sacred place we call “the internet.” However, I'm glad my uncensored access to the world wide web didn't begin until I was 12. I still grew up during the era when little kids didn't have phones, and we just watched the same episode of Hannah Montana over and over again to amuse ourselves. We were still flying our brains, but with Cartoon Network instead of TikTok. Kids no longer…

Oh, wow. It's Monday again. Feels like just yesterday it was Friday and we were celebrating our hard-won freedom from the constraints of the damn workweek. But that freedom is so, so fleeting. And more often than not, it feels like we're still recovering from our fun (or laziness) come Monday. At least, that is, if you work a job that provides the luxury of a regular schedule. I know not everyone can enjoy that, especially those of you who work retail or are working in restaurants. Whether you…

Very persuasive

Harry Potter fans love to praise the worldbuilding of the Wizarding World, and I understand why. Harry Potter is often the first prolonged series of books young readers will consume that takes place in a complex alternate universe. Because of this nostalgia, the worldbuilding gets a bit overhyped by fans who don't wish to see any of the series' flaws. The piece of worldbuilding that most befuddled me when I first read Harry Potter was the “genetic blood protection spell” that Lily allegedly cas…

Where does a meme end and a tweet begin? Can tweets be memes? Can a trend that originated on Twitter transcend to become something beyond what mere memes can encapsulate? These are questions that I simply can't and won't answer. Just because I'm here does not make me a confident meme expert. I am just a dum-dum whose brain is fueled by exorbitant amounts of Diet Mountain Dew at press time. The one thing I do know is that I am not going to quit Twitter . I've been on that godforsaken website sin…

Happy day!

I don't think I'm the drama...

It's coming

It's been a very, very long time since I gushed over any men in cinema, with a few exceptions. There's something about Chris Pine that just gets me going, and I'd do just about anything for Oscar Isaac or Diego Luna. But do I really analyze their appearances beyond looking good? Hell no. The people of Twitter cannot relate to this ambivalence. The bird app is a haven for “stans,” and while much of the manic, obsessive energy is dedicated to K-Pop stars, no celebrity is safe from the ever-postin…

Remember those "May the 4th" jokes today, dads!

This fleeting existence has a tendency to feel a bit pointless. You know, "life's a b*tch and then you die" type vibes. It's really wild that everyting feels as though it's meant to be a struggle, living meager paycheck to meager paycheck, while some person who says "yes" or "no" or “more” lives lavishly and luxuriously thanks to our hard work. While we try not to think of the sad reality in our day-to-day lives, it has become increasingly hard to ignore. But when the going gets tough, and real…

My bank account is crying and filing for divorce.

Happy Tuesday, everybody! If you're not reading this on Tuesday, congratulations. You're already several steps ahead of everybody else, including me! I am standing here feeling extremely Tuesday-pilled while you might be living in Wednesday or even Thursday! Tuesday used to be one of my favorite days of the week because I always had a swell little extracurricular activity on Tuesday nights. These days, Tuesday is just another day and another dollar. Honestly, I think Thursday might be my least…