She's a lie-con, she's a legend, and she is the moment

STOP THE STEAL

"Oh, what a beautiful mornin'. Oh, what a beautiful day. I've got a beautiful feelin' everything's goin' my way" I used to listen to that song, aptly titled 'Oh, What a Beautiful Morning,' every morning before school. It was my way of willing myself to have a good day. When you're a teenager, having an awful day is incredibly easy, and you have to try so hard to be happy. Listening to joyous songs about the morning was my way of getting in a good mood in case something horrible happened at scho…

Hey man, you're pretty trustworthy; can I tell you a little secret? I've got 28 immaculately crafted memes lying just below this message. I know that you can handle them. Don't go around telling everybody about these memes. I'm serious! I'm definitely not using any reverse psychology as we speak. You better not share this perfectly curated list of memes to your Facebook feed or send it to your most active groupchat. You're going to be really sorry if you tell your coworkers or your family about…

Twitter is a place where online culture is created. That can be said of any number of social media sites, but Twitter is one that transcends the website and enters popular culture. Have you ever watched a movie and thought, “This sounds like it was written by a robot whose only exposure to humans is through Twitter discourse.” I had that exact thought while watching the 2022 movie Bodies, Bodies, Bodies , and I'm not the only one. Occasionally, tweets become so iconic that nobody ever forgets w…

Do you still have the unbridled whimsy and joy of a child? Do you long to go back to being eight years old just for a day? Do you ever cry that you're never going to be a happy kid on Christmas morning ever again? To answer those questions: no, no, and never. I don't miss being a kid at all. When you're a kid, you can't go anywhere, do anything, and you have nothing. You've got less freedom than you'll ever have for the rest of your life. I'm not one of those adults who wants to watch kids' mov…

I'm not feeling so hot. It's hard to pinpoint one reason for this ennui. But a quote from a wise hobbit man comes to mind when I think about my current state: "I’m old, Gandalf. I know I don’t look it but I’m beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel thin… sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don’t expect I shall return. In fact I mean not to." Yeah, it's a sad day when I'm quoting the fictional character Bilbo Baggins in relati…

They're festering

Poor soul

Nobody could survive this

A moment in time

Summer days drifting away...

Ah, Twitter.

How dare she?

Twitter has almost always been a controversial zone. Over the past few years, it feels like it's gotten…worse. Worse in the sense that there are more people on the site spewing hot takes and stupid sentiments. It's also worse because Donald Trump isn't around to spice things up. Yeah, we said it. Lately, however, the site has been embroiled with a little extra drama. This has a lot to do with Elon Musk's acquisition of the ‘Bird app.’

I'm busy doing my cave allegory