Time is weird. Five minutes doesn't sound, outwardly, like a lot of time. But it can pass in wildly different ways. Five minutes at the DMV, or waiting for 5 o'clock to roll around, can feel like an eternity. The same goes for waiting in line for a drink at a crowded bar. But five minutes doing something more enjoyable can pass a lot more quickly. A five-minute turn on some sort of amusement ride (they're usually a lot shorter) can feel like five seconds for people who enjoy them, and five year…

Use your five minutes wisely!

Sending tweets to my friends is one of my passions. I love seeing a tweet in the wild, being reminded of one of my close personal friends, and swiftly sending them that tweet. It's my way of letting them know I'm thinking about them. Even when we're sitting in the same room, I prefer to send my friends tweets instead of reading them out loud. When you send others tweets, you're more likely to get a positive reaction than when you start reciting a tweet unannounced. I can't tell you how many tim…

One of the cool things about living in New York is that some institutions will reward you for being young. This probably isn't something exclusive to New York, but there are a lot of things to do here, and when those things are under $30, it makes it a lot easier. If you are under 35, you can get $30 tickets to Lincoln Center musicals, and I think that's pretty neat. The majority of the people in the audience are geriatric, and I am satisfied knowing they're paying full price while I spent the…

Twitter Blue is out in full force, and with that comes the Twitter Blue defenders. Many people are roasting those who've subscribed to this paid verification service, and they are getting a wee bit defensive about it. If I paid $8 a month for a practically worthless service, I, too, would get a bit defensive about it. One dude went viral for the oxymoron “I'm paying for free speech.” Others exalt the new feature as a way to find community and boost your tweets. Unfortunately, having a blue chec…

As a business owner, coming up with a solid name for your establishment is pretty damn important. You don't want to be serving burgers as a restaurant called “MacDonalds,” and you probably want to avoid something as basic as “Burger.” You can choose to reference what you're selling, or go by the name of a family member. Some hip spots will take the name of the business that failed at the same location (probably due to gentrification) or some twee combination of animal and tool, like “Stag and S…

Twitter is a wild place. For one, it can be an incredibly toxic place. The anonymity that the internet provides is something of a blanket to sinister types who live to antagonize strangers. The trolling, and even straight-up bullying, is everywhere. So why exactly do we spend so much time on the godforsaken site? It could be because we're masochists. But it could also be because there's actually some good mixed in amongst the vitriol. The good comes in the form of clever tweets from comedians (…

It's true that some people hate kids. I once worked with someone who was so staunchly anti-child it kind of disturbed me. Sure, it can be argued that it's selfish to bring life into this messed up world. But if you look at it another way, it's absolutely optimistic. There's a chance, even if it's a small one, that if you raise your kid right, they could make that same messed up world a better place. Unfortunately, the internet seems to be making that prospect slightly more unrealistic. Nonethel…

The dating game isn't an easy one. And sometimes, not even the most populous or most specified apps can help you find the companionship (or action) that you're looking for. When Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble fail you, and you don't have any friends setting you up, it's time to resort to some more creative tactics. While that means trying speed dating or signing up for a class for some people, others have some less honest tactics. That's definitely the case for TikToker @coyesimmons_ , who went vira…

Twitter verification is among the few things the bird website ever did right. People try to impersonate celebrities online constantly, and verification used to be an easy way to ensure someone was who they said they were. Unfortunately, Elon Musk is now the owner of Twitter, and he got mad that journalists he disagreed with had the same blue check that he did. So, he introduced Twitter Blue so ordinary people could buy a Twitter verification for $8 a month. Everybody roasted it for the stupid i…

We're firm believers in the fact that people shouldn't need to feel guilty about wanting to look at memes or mess around on their phones. Life is short and often thankless. We're worked to the bone and are granted tiny scraps of time. Scraps of time that end up being devoted to exhausted binge-watching or, even worse, our endless lists of chores. If you want to spend your lunch break scrolling through memes instead of trying to cram more banal work in (like I'm doing right now), go for it. We'r…

'It's just a phase' they said.

We knew that the pump-and-dump schemers of the crypto world were stupid – but sometimes we're still flabbergasted by the idiocy they display on a regular basis on public forums such as Twitter. This week, the crypto grindset bro that most, well, ground our gears was a certain Gavin Mayo (@EarnMayo), who got roasted to a crisp by users of the bird app. See, he thought it would be impressive to share a video of a lighter he had dropped an insane $7k on. “I spent $7000 on a lighter today. We are n…

There's no way around it: Twitter has a tendency to feel like a Speaker's Corner on meth or maybe Adderall or Vyvanse. There are just so many inane thoughts being boldly flung into the Twitterverse at any given moment. The political rants, the TMI moments from oversharing individuals, the banal stories from bad or annoying mothers. That said, the app can actually be delightful when you manage to block out the Twitter slush and enjoy the rare comedic gems. It's taken us many years to block the a…

They smell fantastic!

I recently found myself surprised by some hot gossip from the celebrity-focused Deux Moi Instagram page. See, I don't seek this stuff out. You learn things when you're working on the Internet, things you'd never actually be interested in. The Deux Moi tips that Kardashian Frankenstein Kylie Jenner and actor Timothée Chalamet were dating definitely fall into that category, but I still raised my eyebrows. Alas, sometimes the Internet is right, and yesterday ET confirmed the relationship is, indee…