funny headlines

funny the onion headlines

14 Spicy Headlines From 'The Onion' That Just Speak To Us

Headline that reads, "Man Sues McDonald's for Still Being Depressed After Eating Happy Meal"

False Advertisement

Headline from The Independent that reads, "Cow escapes on way to slaughterhouse, smashes metal fence, breaks human's arm, and swims to uninhabited island where she still lives"

Metal

Headline that reads, "NC man arrested for stealing five pounds of baby powder from CVS" above a mugshot of a guy covered in baby powder

Can't Be Too Sure About That

A whole bunch of headlines blaming Millennials for killing various industries

Millennials: The Generation Killing Stuff Since 1980

Headline that reads, "Kanye Scores 106 Points Against Wheelchair Basketball Team"

You Know Kanye Had To Do It To 'Em

Onion headline that reads, "Man Hoping People Notice How Many Folding Chairs He's Carrying at Once"

'Don't Mind Me Over Here!'

Amusing Memes

29 Amusing Memes That'll Have You LOLlin'

Headline that reads, "Don't kill that spider in your house. It's unlikely to bite you and is good for the environment" under the caption, "Did a spider write this"

Seems Like A Setup...

Headline that reads, "Man on LSD Saves Dog from Imaginary Fire"

He Tried And That's All That Matters

Onion headline that reads, "Man Forced to Come Up with 45 Seconds of Facial Expressions While Waitress Lists Off Specials"

Look, We Both Know I'm Gonna Get The Same Thing I Always Get

Sarcastic headline that reads, "Man Spends Whole Day Dreading Fun Activity He Signed Up For"

Introvert Probs

News headline about a man who stripped naked at a Planet Fitness because he thought it was a 'judgment-free zone'

Technically He Wasn't Wrong

"Diego the sex-mad tortoise has single-handedly saved his species from extinction"

When A Tortoise Gets More Action Than You

Trending Now

'They're losing their free help': Aunt and uncle expect their adopted 19-year-old niece to be the unofficial caregiver for troubled foster kids, so she moves out

'They're losing their free help': Aunt and uncle expect their adopted 19-year-old niece to be the unofficial caregiver for troubled foster kids, so she moves out

Customer gives delivery driver snack and bottle of water, faces reprimanding from his wife: 'As a married woman, I don't like that'

Customer gives delivery driver snack and bottle of water, faces reprimanding from his wife: 'As a married woman, I don't like that'

25+ of the Best Dungeons and Dragons Memes of the Week (July 25, 2025)

25+ of the Best Dungeons and Dragons Memes of the Week (July 25, 2025)

Mom allows daughter to be fired from family business, expects her to work as her secretary for free: 'She keeps telling me it's my duty'

Mom allows daughter to be fired from family business, expects her to work as her secretary for free: 'She keeps telling me it's my duty'

24 Funny Nature Memes for Good, Green Vibes

24 Funny Nature Memes for Good, Green Vibes

30-year-old man takes credit for work of 25-year-old female colleague in client meeting, flips out when she calls him out on it: 'Everyone knew it was mine'

30-year-old man takes credit for work of 25-year-old female colleague in client meeting, flips out when she calls him out on it: 'Everyone knew it was mine'