funny headlines

funny the onion headlines

14 Spicy Headlines From 'The Onion' That Just Speak To Us

Headline that reads, "Man Sues McDonald's for Still Being Depressed After Eating Happy Meal"

False Advertisement

Headline from The Independent that reads, "Cow escapes on way to slaughterhouse, smashes metal fence, breaks human's arm, and swims to uninhabited island where she still lives"

Metal

Headline that reads, "NC man arrested for stealing five pounds of baby powder from CVS" above a mugshot of a guy covered in baby powder

Can't Be Too Sure About That

A whole bunch of headlines blaming Millennials for killing various industries

Millennials: The Generation Killing Stuff Since 1980

Headline that reads, "Kanye Scores 106 Points Against Wheelchair Basketball Team"

You Know Kanye Had To Do It To 'Em

Onion headline that reads, "Man Hoping People Notice How Many Folding Chairs He's Carrying at Once"

'Don't Mind Me Over Here!'

Amusing Memes

29 Amusing Memes That'll Have You LOLlin'

Headline that reads, "Don't kill that spider in your house. It's unlikely to bite you and is good for the environment" under the caption, "Did a spider write this"

Seems Like A Setup...

Headline that reads, "Man on LSD Saves Dog from Imaginary Fire"

He Tried And That's All That Matters

Onion headline that reads, "Man Forced to Come Up with 45 Seconds of Facial Expressions While Waitress Lists Off Specials"

Look, We Both Know I'm Gonna Get The Same Thing I Always Get

Sarcastic headline that reads, "Man Spends Whole Day Dreading Fun Activity He Signed Up For"

Introvert Probs

News headline about a man who stripped naked at a Planet Fitness because he thought it was a 'judgment-free zone'

Technically He Wasn't Wrong

"Diego the sex-mad tortoise has single-handedly saved his species from extinction"

When A Tortoise Gets More Action Than You

Trending Now

‘He can’t find anyone willing to hire him. My parents pay to support him’: Mid-30s brother moves back in with parents as they relocate 15-hours closer to their daughter pushing the young mother to keep her kids away and ban visits to their new home

‘He can’t find anyone willing to hire him. My parents pay to support him’: Mid-30s brother moves back in with parents as they relocate 15-hours closer to their daughter pushing the young mother to keep her kids away and ban visits to their new home

16-year-old rebuffs absent dad when he breaks down about missing her high school graduation: 'He said I was punishing him for being human'

16-year-old rebuffs absent dad when he breaks down about missing her high school graduation: 'He said I was punishing him for being human'

Grandparents show up to 14-year-old granddaughter's birthday party 2 hours late, get angry that they started the party without them: 'I even called them the night before the party and reminded them that we would start at the given time.'

Grandparents show up to 14-year-old granddaughter's birthday party 2 hours late, get angry that they started the party without them: 'I even called them the night before the party and reminded them that we would start at the given time.'

A Mouthful of Hilarious Cooking Memes for Amateur Chefs (June 25, 2025)

A Mouthful of Hilarious Cooking Memes for Amateur Chefs (June 25, 2025)

17-year-old boy doesn't allow stepmother to legally adopt him, refuses to compromise his familial boundaries to spare her feelings: ‘After I turned down the adoption she tried to force the motherly stuff’

17-year-old boy doesn't allow stepmother to legally adopt him, refuses to compromise his familial boundaries to spare her feelings: ‘After I turned down the adoption she tried to force the motherly stuff’

25+ of the Best Gaming Memes of the Week (June 25, 2025)

25+ of the Best Gaming Memes of the Week (June 25, 2025)