Plus: TikTok gets put in the hot seat.

Talk about a bold party guest

Some people simply cannot be trusted with food. I'm not talking about my mom, either. Even with her negligible cooking skills, I know she would never do anything wasteful or disrespectful to food that should be eaten. The same does not go for people on TikTok, Instagram or Facebook. Over the past year food abominations have become even more prevalent. The desperation for engagement and attention has unleashed some seriously sad culinary creations into the Internet. To put it frankly, our feeds…

Filmmaking is genetic

How bad can it be?

It's my belief that people take lemons for granted. Most stores, even the produce-phobic bodegas of Brooklyn , have a least a few to offer the acid-seeking individuals of the world. Lemons gussy up water. They add zip to salad dressings, their zest is crucial for many baked goods, and they taste good as hell in a cocktail. Lemons have inspired tired phrases (When life gives you lemons… ) and denigrating ones (when we're talking about disappointing people or things). Lemon-flavored things also g…

Oh boy

Food is an important part of life. We need to eat to live. It's a necessary part of survival for most living things. But humans have made eating into something of an affair. Somewhere between when we were hunter-gatherers and when we started obsessively Instagramming our meals before eating them, food surpassed its purpose as sustenance. These days, preparing or eating food is a ritual. It's a form of celebration, a way to show love. It's trendy and it's sometimes seen as a status symbol. Peopl…

Delicious!

In my humble opinion, the best burger in the world is some variation of George Motz's Oklahoma fried onion smash burger. It's pretty simple. Oil and heat your skillet. Place a ball of 80/20 ground beef in the skillet and season with salt. Add a handful of finely sliced white onions on top of your ball. Smash the onions and beef into a thin patty and then leave it alone . Wait until the frilly edges go brown. Flip the patty. Lay a single slice of bullshit cheese on top (you know, those pre-wrapp…

The Internet revolts after McDonalds does the one thing they should never do: mess with the price of a hash brown.

Marlon Brando was a legend. Unless you're part of “Generation Alpha,” chances are you loved him in The Godfather, On the Waterfront, Look how they massacred my boy.

Just why

Crunchy

Not everyone can be a renaissance man, woman, or person. It's actually pretty unrealistic to think everyone in the world will have a fascinating range of interests, talents, or hobbies. For much of my pathetic time on this planet, I've felt a bit boring . This isn't because I'm dumb, or because I don't know how to make conversation. The feeling of blahness I feel about my personality is mostly due to the fact that all I really care about is food. I love cooking food in my cramped kitchen. I lov…

It's difficult for me to tell when something is unique to the midwest or if it's something everybody does. Sure, vocal tics like "ope" are stereotypically midwestern, but I find it hard to believe this is solely a feature of that region. I don't think I'd be laughed out of the room in New York or Texas if I said, “I'm just going to squeeze right past you,” but most non-midwesterners would opt for a simple, “excuse me" (or “pardon me” in Texas). One thing that I cannot stand by is the assertion…