Ripe and ready

They're big

It's eating time

Things are not looking good in the world of Twitter right now. I'm trying to stay optimistic; I'm not planning on leaving this app before my official 10-year anniversary on it in February 2023. In fact, I'm not trying to leave Twitter at all, which makes the addition of “views” on tweets so disheartening. This feature literally adds nothing to the experience and makes everybody sad that people didn't like their tweets! I've been trying to train my eye not to look at the views on my tweets, but…

The most important holiday

Delicious!

Crunchy

It's difficult for me to tell when something is unique to the midwest or if it's something everybody does. Sure, vocal tics like "ope" are stereotypically midwestern, but I find it hard to believe this is solely a feature of that region. I don't think I'd be laughed out of the room in New York or Texas if I said, “I'm just going to squeeze right past you,” but most non-midwesterners would opt for a simple, “excuse me" (or “pardon me” in Texas). One thing that I cannot stand by is the assertion…

An Air Fryer is just an EZ Bake Oven for adults—millennials get it...

On Christmas Day, customers usually have enough shame to not show up at a fast food place. They ask insecure questions about when the company lets the employees go home. When you deliver the sad news that you're working until closing, they retreat to their table to eat their McChicken with embarrassed expressions. Unfortunately, during Thanksgiving, customers have a lot less shame. They find it incredibly quirky to go to Popeyes for Thanksgiving instead of cooking a homemade meal. Working in fa…

Flip it

Food. Sure, we have to eat it to survive. But the acts of eating, cooking, and even simply buying food go far beyond function. Food brings people together, it's something universal that we share with one another. And while we all have our own food preferences and allergies, many of us use food to express love and affection for each other. When there's something to celebrate, we usually go out for a fancy meal or enjoy a home-cooked feast with loved ones. Food is an experience, it's culture, and…

Children have incredibly creative minds and use this creativity in numerous ways. At my elementary school, the innocents used their childlike wonder to create the grossest monstrosity of food ever concocted. This activity was usually limited to kids who bought lunch at the cafeteria. It's much more complicated to play with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and carrot sticks than it is to mix school milk with a fruit cocktail. Chicken strip day was always the grossest. People would pour strawbe…

Do y'all remember when the concept of bacon was the biggest meme in the world? 2012 was truly a time to be alive: A time when memes were so simple that a popular food could dominate the landscape of popular memes for over a year. Now don't get me wrong, I like bacon. It's the only meat that I would miss if I followed the dietary restrictions put forth by the Old Testament. That being said, even as a meme-obsessed teen, I found the bacon thing to be a bit much. The bacon meme extended far beyond…

Papa John would be proud

Choosing the right ingredients for a sandwich is essential, and even when you do everything right, your sandwich can still end up gross. I've made many questionable sandwich-topping choices throughout my life, and I'm at peace with that. I spent at least a calendar year ordering burgers with only pickles and onions on them; I can only imagine what my breath smelled like during that year. I also regularly got black olives on my sandwich when I went to Subway, and let's just say I wouldn't make t…