Or maybe you're just being paranoid because you're so baked right now. - Matty Malaprop

Some kittehs just have the crappiest of luck. - Matty Malaprop

Love LOLcats? Who doesn't?! There are so many more over here!

I'm suspicious because of the pixels and from having seen a number of huge fans in my day. - Matty Malaprop

Oh wait, white bread actually isn't very good for you at all... SORRY INWHITEBREAD HORSE WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE YOU OUT BACK AND SHOOT YOU IN THE LEG NOW :((((((((((((( - Matty Malaprop

Well, maybe she'll trip and land in horse manure and then we can all laugh about that instead? - Matty Malaprop

... and I left it right where it was because ewwwwwwwwwww road food. - Matty Malaprop

I mean, look at it this way. We can be miserable down here, ore we can try and stay headlight-hearted about the whole matter, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

Because what good would a down-laying scarecrow even be, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

OKAY I GET IT HIS NAME LENDS ITSELF TO VERY LITERAL INTERPRETATIONS WILL YOU PLEASE STOP NOW?? - Matty Malaprop

The only problem is they always delay sending out callbacks. Their rationale is they really like to make candidates sweat. - Matty Malaprop

... or maybe they're just allergic to daisies. Either way. - Matty Malaprop

I'd say this song was intergalactic AND planetary, but then I'm pretty sure the Beastie Boys' label would attempt to sue my network. - Matty Malaprop

Apparently no matter how much I mock submitters who just send in cliché crap ad nauseam, I still keep getting cliché crap submissions ad nauseam. AM I DOING THIS WRONG OR SOMETHING?? - Matty Malaprop

BabiesAreGross #Don'tDenyIt #VesselsForFilthAndCrying - Matty Malaprop

I GET IT AND IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THE GLOBE IS A THEATER IN LONDON HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh wait that wasn't actually that funny... - Matty Malaprop

I hath absolutely no words to say about this pun... - Matty Malaprop