What are they?

Greetings, Scrooges, Grinches, and the like. To celebrate the holidays, the explosively festive YBOC Series Finale focuses on how Christmas movies are basically all just capitalist propaganda. To send him off, Dr. Jordan Breeding is visited by a few friends.

“This mushroom, again considered a gift by the Koryak people, grows at the base of pine trees. What do you put under pine trees on Christmas? Gifts!”

“We had to multiply the gingerbread recipe by 12 just for the first day of the build.”

So much for Christmas spirit

To be a parent or to not be a parent. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. Babies sometimes just happen to people, and that's that. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it's all about the timing. Some people want to have kids as soon as possible, and some have to scramble toward the finish line, with the s…

Maybe the Grinch would have been nicer if all the Who's in Whoville weren't singing about how much of a jerk he is?

Christmas is right around the corner, and you know what that means: there are 10 million things you need to do at any given moment, and you don't have time for any of them! If you have kids, it's even worse. I don't even know how parents today can deal with the Elf on the Shelf nonsense, putting up Christmas decorations, buying and wrapping presents, and ensuring their families have a good Christmas. Naturally, if you have that much responsibility, some of your obligations will fall through the…

I love Hallmark Christmas movies . Well, maybe love is too strong of a term. I will watch at least one Hallmark Christmas movie yearly to bask in the channel's dedication to repetitiveness, cheapness, and corniness. It makes me feel comforted that hundreds of practically identical movies are playing on the Hallmark Channel all day, every day, during this time of year. Even during the rest of the year, the Hallmark Channel has committed itself to the values of churning out the same tired stuff b…

From the time we were little, we were taught to be grateful for whatever gifts we were given during the holidays. Parents coach their children to say thank you no matter what present they get because doing anything else would be most unkind. However, as you grow up, you realize that some gifts are actually an insult. The mean girl in middle school didn't give you a Lady Speed Stick out of the kindness of her heart. Likewise, sometimes companies give gifts that are far more insulting than they a…

If there's one thing health and fitness people will do, it's talk about gut health. I understand that it's important for your large and small intestines to function regularly, but I wish there were other ways to talk about it. Something about the word “gut” rubs me the wrong way. It hits my ear the same way “moist” does for so many others. I know it's supposed to be a sanitised way to describe your bowel movements, but I feel like

Devious

"Put some mistletoe on my butt and kiss it!"

I wish I could tell you that your favorite Christmas movie says a lot about you, but unfortunately, it does not. Your favorite Christmas movie is probably just what was constantly playing on TV when you were a kid or which VHS tapes you had. If it weren't for television reruns, It's a Wonderful Life , and A Christmas Story would not have the iconic reputation they've developed. In fact, they'd probably be largely forgotten. Even though our favorite Christmas movies are more based on when we wer…

Growing up my foodie Dad had a huge section of his bookcase that was dedicated to cookbooks. I'd be able to rifle through books about indigenous Colombian cuisine, classic French cookbooks, and gorgeously photographed tomes of food from the Levant. I did notice, however, that he rarely, if ever, used these books. It turns out my parents needed that section not because my dad loves cookbooks, but because people love giving them to him. I wonder what would happen if they bothered to ask what he w…

Hang 'em up