Kiwi on Kiwi

Christmas is only two days away, and you know what that means? We are singing The Twelve Days of Christmas until we cannot stand it anymore. Everyone knows that most of the presents endlessly listed in The Twelve Days of Christmas are birds. If I had to pick any of them to receive, I wouldn't choose swans a-swimming or even a partridge in a pear tree. I want one of those ambiguous, open-for-interpretation gifts. What is a "lord a-leaping," and how do I get ten of them to my house as soon as hum…

If you're a child of the 90s or the 2000s, you probably knew a kid who wanted to be a marine biologist when they grew up. Better yet, if you're on this list of animal memes, you probably were that kid. What was up with that? Why did we all want to be that specific specialty of scientist? Was it all because of the artwork of one Lisa Frank? Was it because we pet too many sting rays at the aquarium? Were we brainwashed by Finding Nemo ? I guess we'll never know. It's definitely one of those child…

Don't disturb me in my chipmunk enclosure

Bird is the word

It's not worth it

Too much description

Crow crow Power Rangers!

Quack Quack

Don't you dare resist!

Welcome to the jungle

Fast duck vs. Slow cat

Good effort, worm!

“Which animal am I” is one of those questions you usually don't want to know the answer to. Either you get an adorable animal like a cat, or you get one that truly makes you confront your reality as a human being. When I was growing up and this question came up, everyone would always say that I was a giraffe. This was not a particularly shocking answer, seeing as I was at least 5'9 by the time I was 12 years old. However, it did get old after a while that people were only seeing me for my tall…

Give him a smooch

"Serious goose" doesn't have the same ring to it