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While holidays like Christmasobnoxiously push capitalism and materialism, there's something unarguably nice about receiving a thoughtful gift from a person you love. These gifts, and some of the stories behind them, do not fall into this category. From dead birds to bags of hair, these anecdotes from Redditors are guaranteed to make you appreciate those socks your mom insists on giving you every year. 

Kids really say (and believe) the darndest things. As a gullible kid, a friend once told me that she and her father were addicted to shawarma. She said there was nicotine in the meat and that the two of them absolutely had to get their fix daily or they'd become cranky jerks. I believed this for at least a year until my own family took me for some tasty sandwiches. 

While some AskReddit threads can feature dark and unsettling tales from peoples' pasts, this one has proved to be some seriously wholesome respite from our case of the Mondays. And is a pleasant reminder that nobody is alone in believing some seriously weird (or seriously funny) tidbits or ideas.

Just in time for Halloween, we're bringing you some Reddit stories about freaky things kids have said. We can't guarantee that these stories are all true, but they're creepy as hell either way!

Ladies, it's totally okay if you just came here to check if you do any of these things! In fact, it's likely that we all do some of these things from time to time.

Happy Monday, hope you're all ready for some creepy content! Reddit's AskReddit community is often a treasure trove of real people sharing their real life experiences - experiences that range from wholesome to terrifying. These tales fall into the latter category. User DespondentDavid asked the advice forum "Psychologists of Reddit, what made you realize you were treating a psychopath?" The responses, which are mostly from mental health professionals, are pretty disturbing 

Summer might be coming to an end, but you can take your pumpkin spice and shove it up your butt. This harvest season, we're more interested in dank memes than your overpriced, seasonally flavored, four pump bullshit. Strap your booties in and get scrolling: we got memes to consume. 

There are some people in this world who will literally sleep through a train running through their bedroom and not even stir. Is this a good or bad thing? Well, on one hand you'd never have to worry about annoying neighbors waking you up in the middle of night, but on the other hand, you would have to worry about sleeping through a literal disaster like these people!

Gather round, my weary and wandering Internet travelers. We know the day has been long and hard. Why not take a load off and peruse these freshly plucked memes, fresh from the ripened loins of the r/dankmemessubreddit? 

The drama of Lord of the Rings has always lent itself well to dank memery, and we're happy to report that this format featuring the villainous Saruman is making a bit of a comeback on Reddit. The scene being used is from The Fellowship Of The Ring, a moment in which Saruman offers Gandalf a choice between joining him or dying. Gandalf refuses to help Saruman, who remarks "So you have chosen death." The foreboding line is generally being used in much lighter contexts - think family quibbles and "things i don't like" style memes. They're pretty good, and we're happy to see the format is alive and well.

These Redditors may be salty, but we think they have every right to their salt - sometimes people you thought you could trust just do ya wrong and you can never forgive them for that. Honestly they deserve to give these people a piece of their mind, even after all these years!

For a final sprinkle of salt see this other AskReddit thread describing encounters of "Rich Kid Syndrome". Salt. For. Days.

Have you been down on yourself lately? Felt that maybe you're lacking in the intellect department, or not living up to your potential? This hilariously enlightening Reddit thread could be the ego boost you need. User Yurtle asked AskReddit perusers to share the most stupid questions they've even been asked - and the results convey stupidity of epic proportions.

Another thread had people sharing the strangest thing they've ever experienced, and even stranger was a thread where people shared the worst fanboy meltdowns they encountered. AskReddit continues to prove that we are truly a fascinating race.

Our new favorite shitpost is a real blast from the past. A 1967 episode of Spider-Man is the latest meme fad to annoy redditors and Instagrammers alike. The still features Spider-Man's enemies Rhino, Vulture, Electro and Green Goblin, and is generally used to describe dumb things one might do with "the boys" back in the day. Think typing 80,085 on a calculator. While some people might want to forget their more immature moments, we opt to revel in them. If you like what you see, check out our boys at Ebaum's World. There's more where this genius came from.

Another day, another dank Avengers: Endgame meme! The r/dankmemes subreddit has been flooded with Captain America (Chris Evans) memes for the past two days, and these particular formats deal heavily with history. In Endgame, chooses to travel through time permanently to spend the rest of his days with Peggy Carter, the love of his life. These memes address the fact that the former Captain America would have a wealth of historical knowledge that Peggy lacks - and can even use it to his advantage. The result is a versatile dank meme that's endlessly entertaining.

And you know what else is endless? The amount of memes we're getting out of Endgame even way after the movie's initial release. An absolute win, some might say.