song

He's Vulcan and he knows it. - Matty Malaprop

Guess that I don't need that dough / now you're just some money that I used to owe. - Matty Malaprop

Little did he know he'd end up wedding one of those seemingly inadequate sharpies... - Matty Malaprop

Party.coli's in the petri dish tonight. - Matty Malaprop

Ever read "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner?" I guess riffle shuffling a deck of cards is essentially this stick figure's albatross. - Matty Malaprop

Moar gifs over here!

I mean, are they quintuplets conjoined at the boner? I'M INCREDIBLY CONFUSED BY THIS STATEMENT AND ALSO I DON'T THINK I'LL BE ABLE TO SLEEP THANKS TO THE MENTAL IMAGE I JUST CONJURED UP FOR MYSELF EWWWWWWWW. - Matty Malaprop

Thank you, trashy tabloid, for giving me my favorite headline of the year. - Matty Malaprop

Click the word "obligatory" for an obligatory. - Matty Malaprop

Mariachica are gonna be the biggest band since The Beatles, I'm telling ya! - Matty Malaprop

There's a part of me that really wants to be offended by this post. But COME ON. Stayin' Arive? That's GOLD, right there. - Matty Malaprop