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Seriously, you don't know the meaning of "the brink of death" until your nose is getting nipped at by an aggravated goose. - Matty Malaprop

Strangely, Liukin bears a strong resemblance to Nastasya Filipovna from Dostoevsky's The Idiot. This fact made this particular incident a field day for Russian reporters, who humiliated Liukin with such gruesome newspaper headlines as: "Idiot Nastia Lookin' Filipovna flippin' ova on uneven bars." - Matty Malaprop

Where's military-garbed Bruce Campbell when you need him!? - Matty Malaprop

File under: Jokes My Father Told Me When I Was Young That I Never Really Understood... - Matty Malaprop

They're not the kind to nickle and dime you, but they're definitely the kind to needle and thread you. - Matty Malaprop

The original image featured Ariel Strikethrough, but it's sadly far too graphic to display on this network. - Matty Malaprop

You'd be cursing too if you were held aleft by some unseen force, I bet. - Matty Malaprop

It felt good to be... out-of-office auto-reply? - Matty Malaprop

I guess they're really going to have to rise to the occasion if they want to make this movie work. - Matty Malaprop

Clearly the writers for this episode didn't do their research. Everyone knows les Jacqueshammers are constantly chain-smoking and are always clad in berets! - Matty Malaprop

I GET IT AND IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THE GLOBE IS A THEATER IN LONDON HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh wait that wasn't actually that funny... - Matty Malaprop