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Being a Norse god does have its drawbacks... namely that you're liable to be punished for simply existing. - Matty Malaprop

Mariachica are gonna be the biggest band since The Beatles, I'm telling ya! - Matty Malaprop

PRO: This registered sex offender is in the system. CON: THIS REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER IS IN THE SYSTEM! - Matty Malaprop

I hear you can kill McFlies with a taser so long as you make sure to jolt them with at least 1.21 gigawatts of power. - Matty Malaprop

When he wasn't busy being the 18th Century Everyman, Franklin liked to spend his time fronting little-known but much-loved proto-rock band Poor Richard and the Almanacs. - Matty Malaprop

At least she'll be floofy and man's best friend even if her career starts to go down a ruff path! - Matty Malaprop

If I'm going to be incessantly eyed by some cyclopean fiend, he might as well at least taste of delicious chamomile! - Matty Malaprop

I can get behind whole college football craze, I guess... but what the hell is with the elephant? - Matty Malaprop

BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DRINK IT ALL / NOT EVEN LEAVE A SPLASH FOR MY MORNING COFFEE / GUESS THAT I DON'T NEED MILK THOUGH / I'LL JUST DRINK IT BLACK BEFORE IT STARTS TO GET COLD. #CapsLockB/CGotye'sAlwaysShouting - Matty Malaprop

... and those Trekkies are filled with... Data? WAIT NO NOT LIKE THAT OH GOD THE HORRIBLE MENTAL IMAGES OH GOD - Matty Malaprop