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In my dreams, this particular establishment is decked out with hundreds of pieces of art depicting the poor admiral drowning. Is that weird or something? - Matty Malaprop

I hear you can kill McFlies with a taser so long as you make sure to jolt them with at least 1.21 gigawatts of power. - Matty Malaprop

Can he please eat Matt Damon at the end of the film? That's really the kind of plot twist I'm hoping for here. - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster dbfnq says: "So I made the first pun that came to my head, and it just so happened to be..."

He asked us: "Be ye pale ales?" And we said: "Nay! We are but cornish (ROCK!)!" - Matty Malaprop

Matty Malaprop's Valentine's Day 2012 Agenda: Work. Go home. Cry. Listen to The Smiths. Cry. Eat ice cream. Cry. Listen to the Smiths. Cry. Fap. Cry. Eat ice cream, listen to The Smiths, cry and fap simultaneously. Repeat until it's Feb. 15.

It's Valentine's Day, and Cheezburger has a very special present for you!

My love life is like the gondola scene from Lady and the Tramp, but with more icebergs and horrible death. - Matty Malaprop

For more sinking relationships, head over to Dating Fails!

I mean, it ain't no Ice Climbers, but there's still some tough steez goin' down in that game! - Matty Malaprop

I'm just gonna let the Tumblrverse sum up this one for me: "Reduces high blood pressure so your heart can go on." - Matty Malaprop

Well, okay, Ghost Kitty and Cat Spider aren't really puns, and Rocket Kitty doesn't work unless it's Rockitty... but three-and-a-half outta six ain't bad! - Matty Malaprop

Gif your butt (!) over to Animal Gifs for MOAR cyoot and funneh on loop!

Um... well... I mean... OH COME ON THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR YOU CAN'T MAKE LEMONADE WITH MILK! - Matty Malaprop

Strangely, Liukin bears a strong resemblance to Nastasya Filipovna from Dostoevsky's The Idiot. This fact made this particular incident a field day for Russian reporters, who humiliated Liukin with such gruesome newspaper headlines as: "Idiot Nastia Lookin' Filipovna flippin' ova on uneven bars." - Matty Malaprop