homophones

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By Unknown
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Man, the simplicity of google has really been the armpits for people who like to ask riddles. - Matty Malaprop

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I don't care if it's a cute mnemonic device, pedretta. Your uncle's explanation is FULL OF LIES, and for that he ought be punished. - Matty Malaprop

By Unknown
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What I wanna know is: How long does it take someone to learn to be ambiphonidextrous? - Matty Malaprop

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When you've got friends as nice as these two, your regular average Joe really just doesn't cut the mustard. - Matty Malaprop

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By Arianne (Via ATWTKTD)
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I'm glad I came across this punny conversation. I'd been pining for some good wood jokes for a while now. - Matty Malaprop

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Punmasters, what is your jam for the day? Mine is "Tracks (Tall Bodies)" by Chelsea Wolfe. - Matty Malaprop

By Unknown
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Jason Schwartzman, why are you the greatest human being? - Matty Malaprop

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And it certainly doesn't help that he also had a tendency to consume spam a lot! - Matty Malaprop