Hall of Fame

I suppose wrestling isn't an inconceivable panda pastime... though if copulation is an unappealing exercise for them, I can't imagine their matches in the ring are terribly riveting. - Matty Malaprop

Last year we had sad, tasteless tweens whining about "Arcade Fires," and this year we have people confused about Bonnie Bears. Stay free, Grammys. - Matty Malaprop

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Can't we just not do it and make a Pinterest post saying we did instead? - Matty Malaprop

From the studio that brought you "Mrs. Doubtfire and Brimstone," it's a blood-boiling piece of cinema that is fun for your whole dead family! - Matty Malaprop

And to think, were it not for the lynx they established via his text messages, he would have gotten away with being a cheetah! - Matty Malaprop

I mean, look at it this way. We can be miserable down here, ore we can try and stay headlight-hearted about the whole matter, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

It's at once more ethical and more violent than its homophonic counterpart. - Matty Malaprop

Ain't none of you other homies got a euthy-fro as consequential and thought-provoking as this kid. - Matty Malaprop

Perhaps you should see him to the afterlife with some very rigorous mortis? - Matty Malaprop

Mike Tyson ain't the only fighter who's liable to bite off your ears... - Matty Malaprop

Fancy a cup of Meteor Breakfast, old chap? - Matty Malaprop

Regarding your recent string of successful camping trips, I'd wager you're on a bit of a hot streak. - Matty Malaprop