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stealing signs crime literalism facebook double meaning theft - 6923371008
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I asked him to STOP, but he refused to even YIELD his kleptomaniacal deeds! - Matty Malaprop

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conversation facebook fish variations on a theme - 6550839552
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In fact they're a high-end restaurant devoted solely to fancy beef dinners, and the mother in the story is pescetarian. All in all the whole evening ended up being a total cabasstrophe. - Matty Malaprop

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book doing it wrong face facebook literalism question twitter - 4773024768
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I'm thinking you find an annoying younger brother and shout "ER! ER! ER!" at him ad nauseam until he starts crying, but I could well be mistaken on this one. - Matty Malaprop

conversation facebook potato potatoes variations on a theme - 6420883456
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I was with you all until the Doritos joke... I mean, really, is there any potato-matter in a bag of Doritos at all? I'm skeptical. - Matty Malaprop

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nature Forest trees variations on a theme conversation facebook - 6767221248
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If a pun falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it, does it still make people groan? - Matty Malaprop

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about facebook Reframe similar sounding taco talk variations on a theme - 6528033792
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Maybe we should lay off him a bit, guys. No matter how much we pry, he's still telling us (empa)nada. - Matty Malaprop

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alcohol ball facebook Photo variations on a theme - 6487940096
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Unrelated to this joke: Why don't more people use the phrase "I reckon" nowadays? It's just so fun to say! - Matty Malaprop

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ask bathroom facebook french homophone oui question wee - 5928034048
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Unsurprisingly, the student in question was denied permission to relieve herself. The correct response was "puis-je utiliser les toilettes?" - Matty Malaprop