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Her boyfriend's name is Douglas Fir, but what she doesn't know is he's been pollenating with other lady-trees and is now a carrier of Phytophthora root rot. - Matty Malaprop

I'm thinking you find an annoying younger brother and shout "ER! ER! ER!" at him ad nauseam until he starts crying, but I could well be mistaken on this one. - Matty Malaprop

Seriously, Facebook addicts have trigger fingers that could beat Meta Knight on expert mode 10 times out of 10. - Matty Malaprop

I'm betting all these puns were brewed up in Cosmo's Factory... - Matty Malaprop

The idea of regretting anything Foreigner-related seems pretty alien to OP. - Matty Malaprop

Social media at its best and worst on Failbook!

And let's not forget the classics like Teddy Roosevelt Nugent, Bill Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars and Daft Polk. - Matty Malaprop

See more funny Facebooking over here!

You should be pretty safe if your only domain is Lusitania.net, though. - Matty Malaprop

I was with you all until the Doritos joke... I mean, really, is there any potato-matter in a bag of Doritos at all? I'm skeptical. - Matty Malaprop