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conversation facebook lolwut nomenclature status tree trees - 5352174848
By Unknown
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Her boyfriend's name is Douglas Fir, but what she doesn't know is he's been pollenating with other lady-trees and is now a carrier of Phytophthora root rot. - Matty Malaprop

book doing it wrong face facebook literalism question twitter - 4773024768
By Unknown
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I'm thinking you find an annoying younger brother and shout "ER! ER! ER!" at him ad nauseam until he starts crying, but I could well be mistaken on this one. - Matty Malaprop

abraham lincoln facebook presidents riffing variations on a theme bad puns - 6126412544
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And let's not forget the classics like Teddy Roosevelt Nugent, Bill Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars and Daft Polk. - Matty Malaprop

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conversation facebook potato potatoes variations on a theme - 6420883456
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I was with you all until the Doritos joke... I mean, really, is there any potato-matter in a bag of Doritos at all? I'm skeptical. - Matty Malaprop