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Just be warned, Blue. Marine Biology is a challenging field. I really hope for your sake that you have someone to go home and cuttle with at the end of the day. - Matty Malaprop

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Via Atrophyy
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I mean sure, she's got a bit of a frigid temperament, but what were you really expecting from a Neopolitan girl? - Matty Malaprop

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Just curious, because I need to figure out some way to get these guys to flock off. - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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All I can recommend is that Matthew take some medicine and go to bed, lest he wants to Diggory his own grave! - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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If a pun falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it, does it still make people groan? - Matty Malaprop

Social Media at its best and worst on Failbook!

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By Unknown
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Her boyfriend's name is Douglas Fir, but what she doesn't know is he's been pollenating with other lady-trees and is now a carrier of Phytophthora root rot. - Matty Malaprop

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If you can think of an animal, I'm sure the Internet hivemind can manage to lynx it to something punny, no problem. - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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The man then proceeded to wolf down his meal while his animal friends stood by, bearly able to watch such a gruesome spectacle. - Matty Malaprop

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By Wes (Via Hotchkiss Comics)
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Being a Norse god does have its drawbacks... namely that you're liable to be punished for simply existing. - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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I ain't even ashamed to admit that. And by that I mean I'm totally and completely ashamed to admit that.

But seriously. Seriously. Click this link. Listen to this song. It will be stuck in your head 5ever. I'm sorry. - Matty Malaprop

If you think One Direction is a terrible band, you're totally Autocowreck.

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When you've got friends as nice as these two, your regular average Joe really just doesn't cut the mustard. - Matty Malaprop

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Maybe I'm just too cynical to appreciate love, but I've always felt like weddings are simply mulch ado about nothing. - Matty Malaprop

Favorite

Fresh Collection of 5-Star Tinder Profiles We Fell In Love With

I'll be the first to say that I'm as weary as the rest of you when it comes to the latest assemblage of funny, strange, cringe-packed modern (so...Tinder) dating moments. More often than not, we're left scratching our heads, legitamately discouraged or confused with the current state of dating affairs as a millennial. Are we devolving when it comes to dating, or are these convos and wildly creative profiles natural symptoms of progress? Probably a bit of both.

If you guys ever encounter any remarkably twisted Tinderers (we'll pretend that's a word for the meanwhile), and you're down to share your convo/profile please submit 'dem screenshots over here! We're always game to credit and feature community submissions. 

Entertaining Tinder profiles and conversations from particularly humorous individuals into modern dating game.
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conversation epicurean facebook food Hall of Fame star wars status - 5677911296
By floatingpoint
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This overly long Facebook abomination is your fault, Darth Waiter... - Matty Malaprop