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When you've got friends as nice as these two, your regular average Joe really just doesn't cut the mustard. - Matty Malaprop

Orange you glad I don't post too terribly many of these things every week? - Matty Malaprop

Her boyfriend's name is Douglas Fir, but what she doesn't know is he's been pollenating with other lady-trees and is now a carrier of Phytophthora root rot. - Matty Malaprop

I mean sure, she's got a bit of a frigid temperament, but what were you really expecting from a Neopolitan girl? - Matty Malaprop

Or musings on music in general... pssk, I don't even know. All I know is I'm a 12-year-old when it comes to giggling at the mention of "G-strings." - Matty Malaprop

More Facebook funniness over here!

Being a Norse god does have its drawbacks... namely that you're liable to be punished for simply existing. - Matty Malaprop

I'll admit, I laughed just a wee bit at this joke. Though I admit it's a bit of a low blow. - Matty Malaprop

See more Facebook foibles over here!

I chuckled, sure, but I'm pretty convinced most of these puns have a very short Half-Life. - Matty Malaprop

Sure, these are pretty clever, but they'll do you a fat latke of good when a bread-enthusiast turned door-to-door missionary comes knockin'. - Matty Malaprop

Social media at its best and worst on Failbook!

CannonFodder, you seem a little burnt about SomeRandomGeekNamedBrent's correction. I'm sorry if he hurt ewe, but you just can't fawn over these kinds of things! - Matty Malaprop

Just be warned, Blue. Marine Biology is a challenging field. I really hope for your sake that you have someone to go home and cuttle with at the end of the day. - Matty Malaprop