bread

In my family, it's tradition to always start breakfast with a lovely toast. - Matty Malaprop

After all, we all know Jesus was betrayed by Judas because he really kneaded some dough. - Matty Malaprop

Whenever I receive a submission that features a joke as old as the interweb itself, I feel like the yeast I can do is front page it with some appropriately derisive and catty commentary. - Matty Malaprop

BAD JOKE EEL, WHY YOU NOT AS FUNNY AS YOUR MAMMALIAN COUNTERPART? - Matty Malaprop

He's even cuter than his not-genetically-compromised counterparts! - Matty Malaprop

♪ I want you to want me / I need you to knead me / I'd love you to loaf me / I'm begging you to bake me / I want you to want me / I need you to knead me / I'd love you to loaf me / I'll shine up a rolling pin / lay out a fresh-washed pan / I'll wait for you after work if you say that you'll loaf me / Didn't you, didn't you, didn't you see me risin'? / Didn't you, didn't you, didn't you see me risin'? / Hoping to god you won't be usin' that stove for fryin' / Didn't you, didn't you, didn't you see me risin'? ♪ - Matty Malaprop

Oh wait, white bread actually isn't very good for you at all... SORRY INWHITEBREAD HORSE WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE YOU OUT BACK AND SHOOT YOU IN THE LEG NOW :((((((((((((( - Matty Malaprop

Contrary to most cutters, it might behoove this bummed-out bread to go across the street, NOT down the road. - Matty Malaprop

More emo schadenfreude over here!

Gingers may lack souls, but they're always good at getting a rise out of things. - Matty Malaprop

Source: Eddsworld