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My mother always told me that a wet spreadsheet was no kind of spreadsheet at all. I never fully understood what she meant... - Matty Malaprop

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By Caitlin
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Punmaster Caitlin says: "You could make a pencil with an eraser on each end, but that would be pointless."

If by "pointless" you mean TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY AWESOME AND ENDLESSLY AMUSING, then yes, I agree with you 100 percent, Caitlin.

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By Unknown
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I suppose cleaning battle suits would require a pretty supernatural solvent... - Matty Malaprop

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The saddest part about this is the thought that it's quite probable Mitt's worth more than the whole of the Hello Kitty brand... - Matty Malaprop

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Sure, it's a little unwieldy, but the lint trap on this sucker is just totally awesome! - Matty Malaprop

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By xyzpdq1
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Sometimes there's nothing you can do but drown your Monday in booze and regret. And as you're wallowing in self-pity, at least take heart in knowing if you had tried to get away from dealing with this Monday, you might have this gamer's predicament.

 But while you are steadily losing the ability to form coherent thoughts, hold off a little on the jungle juice and have some Manic Monday memes as a side dish to your raging alcoholism.

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It took us a while to clean up our act, but now your efforts will hamper ours no longer! - Matty Malaprop

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By Hazy
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And WHY is the rum gone? And for that matter, give me your keys, idiot. - Matty Malaprop

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Hate to break it to you, Odysseus, but your epic journey is simply old hat in the Simpsons universe. - Matty Malaprop

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By Dan Q
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Despite the compelling story Ark, it really just couldn't live up to its hype as the blockbuster film of the Neeson. - Matty Malaprop