If you're a spirits connoisseur then this might p*ss you off… lol

If you've ever seen a gossip blog or perused Twitter, you're probably aware that people absolutely love an airport celebrity sighting. The paps (and regular ol' travelers) chomp at the bit to capture a famous person in sunglasses and sweats, just trying to get from A to B in relative peace. It's not every day, however, that we see a celebrity belting out a popular song at the gate with absolutely zero shame. But that's exactly what happened last week in the Omaha airport. The celeb in question?…

It's IT time! I know what you're wondering: Do you mean IT, the classic Stephen King novel and 2017/2019 films about clowning gone wrong? Absolutely not, you stupid baby! It's IT time as in, the actually important IT, which stands for Information Technology . Now I will be honest with y'all. I am not a diva of the IT or computer science persuasion. I am merely a humble former English major hoping that the STEM kids in the room accept these memes into their hearts. Even if I don't fully understa…

Oh no they didn't

Plant people are a special breed. It's true that I admire their ability to nurture and care for a living thing that doesn't wail, meow, or bark when hungry. But I have a bit of resentment toward them, too. It often seems like their money-spending habits (when it comes to their hobby) aren't publicly chided enough. Why is it irresponsible for me to spend all my “extra” money on food and clothes, but honorable for them to spend that same dough every weekend at the plant store? I call foul. As muc…

There, there

For many people, cartoons have been an important part of life. I was absolutely forbidden from watching them on our crappy 80's television, but that didn't stop me from sneaking downstairs at five in the morning to watch Sailor Moon at a very, very low volume. Instead of watching that magical anime series, my parents graciously allowed us to watch a whole lot of very antiquated Disney VHS tapes. These old Disney cartoons (some of them featuring mainstays such as Donald Duck and Goofy) relied on…

Let's be honest. You need a laugh; I need a laugh. We all need to laugh a little bit more. We can't keep rewatching the same three seasons of Strangers With Candy until we die to get the last few giggles out of our usually unamused husks of bodies. Laughter is a force of healing, and if we don't do it enough, we're going to shrivel up and die. There are only so many 22-minute comedies you can consume in one day, especially if you are a person of the employed persuasion. Those 22-minute comedies…

Dumb people who claim authority over everything

Fancy a slice? Pizza is one of the most famous American foods for a reason: it's just so diddly darn good. I personally love Chicago-style deep-dish pizza, but that's probably because I'm a crazy person. If you're not from Chi-town, you might be baffled by its unique design, having the sauce on top and the cheese on the bottom. It is way more decadent than any pizza in the world; One can liken it to eating a slice of sausage cake. Despite its richness, I respect the innovation and creativity of…

Pretty in pink? More like pretty insane.

It is wild that nearly every kid I knew wanted to be an animal scientist or a marine biologist when they grew up. I guess it makes sense since animals are one of the four interests children consistently have across generations: animals, books, sports, and pink. If you meet a kid that doesn't possess at least one of these interests, you have just met an individual in the 99th percentile of uniqueness. Kids and adults love animals, and I don't blame them. Animals love you unconditionally unless t…

Since the release of Minions: The Rise of Gru the titular yellow monsters have been on our minds more than usual. Minions have a deep and exciting culture explored throughout the Despicable Me and Minion Movie franchises. Minions are largely unrecognizable from any other earthly animal, which brings up a question that is both hilarious and macabre: could a person eat a minion? Now, this is not a new question. For years, people have been curious about the ethics and practicalities of gobbling up…

In rare instances, age gap discourse can be funny.

As an American who recently moved to the United Kingdom, a lot of the funny observations in this amusing Reddit thread about uniquely American things really resonated with me. For example, when someone asks me where I'm from, my first instinct is to say, “well I grew up in California, but I just moved from New York.” Whereas a European might simply respond with what country they're from. And I never realized that to many people outside the United States, certain Americans (especially New Yorker…

“Someone was literally being ripped to shreds and my dumba$s was teehee-heeing over the subtitles.”