The raw organs are a lie

I'm sure we've all heard the same line over and over again from non-readers: “I just don't have time to read.” The fundamental misunderstanding they h

Now that the gluttony and ritual of Thanksgiving have come and gone, 'tis finally the season for indulging in Hallmark Christmas/holiday movies. Now, I understand that many of you may consider the “films” (if you can call them that) a low form of entertainment. But gosh darn it, they are predictable! There are not many tropes that compare when it comes to formulaicity, a

Are you teaching your kid they're born to run or that they're master of puppets?

I'M TOTALLY FINE.

No touching

Sweet memories?

My mom is one of those people who goes absolutely crazy for Christmas . After Thanksgiving, she starts rifling through storage boxes for her incredible collection of Christmas ornaments. She puts up the ancestral advent calendar (made of felt, of course) and spends her evenings piercing oranges with whole cloves to create pomanders. She laboriously strings cranberries into garlands, which she then drapes around the Christmas tree and her cozy home's exterior. Naturally, she demands only the fin…

What a mess

Today is World Anteater Day , and what better way to celebrate than honor the greatest anteater of modern times, Arthur, from the hit PBS show Arthur. Arthur is not only an aardvark but also an anteater. This is a 3rd grader who contains multitudes! In his cartoon form, he resembles a mouse more than any real anteater in the wild. However, every real Arthur stan will know that he resembled an authentic anteater perfectly in his first book incarnation, Arthur's Nose. Unfortunately, the creative…

I have an apology to make. I failed you last week. There was a meme gallery-sized void in our schedule, and it belonged to our weekly edition of Tolkien Tuesday. And that's because my immune system failed me in a similar manner. You see, I was delirious. Not with Covid-19, but with something less known and perhaps more sinister. Much like when Gandalf tussled with the Balrog, darkness took me and I strayed away through thought and time. Stars wheeled overhead and every day was as long as a life…

Why are they flying?

When you're a kid, you're presented with very few jobs that you could pursue in the future. Everyone wants to be a doctor, spaceman, or cop, but all of these occupations pale in comparison to being a firefighter . Gun to my head, if I had to choose one of the “babies first dream job” jobs, the firefighter would be at the top of my list. That's not just because of their rad calendars or because I'd rather be a house fire victim than become a doctor or a cop. I feel like firefighters have a prett…

"There is no excuse for my lack of coasters"

You've trained all year for this moment.

We all have mental health, but some of us have less mental health than others. Conversations around mental illness often focus on more socially acceptable diagnoses. Anxiety and depression are not only extremely common but also widely discussed. In a way, they've almost become completely destigmatized conditions. It's kind of wild how much more socially acceptable to talk about these things now. Back when boomers were growing up, it was incredibly hush-hush. Nowadays, everyone's on Lexapro, and…