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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Employee drives 2 hours into office to find that nobody else is there, coworkers didn't tell them not to come in: 'Even the newer staff knew not to come in, but nobody is answering'
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Manager calls out employee for using phone while on lunchbreak in company cafeteria: 'That's not a professional look'
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71-year-old manager refuses to retire, leaving 36-year-old employee of 5 years with no room to get a promotion: 'What am I supposed to do? Just wait until I’m 40 for my first promotion?'
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Gymgoer gets stuck under heavy bench press, entitled woman refuses to help him: 'Not being able to help lift it off is one thing. Not going to look for help and just let you lay there is another'
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Dad, working 50-60 hours a week, tells expecting stay-at-home mom that he doesn't feel supported because she doesn't cook for him: 'I have been very sick, and I’ve been struggling to cook because of the smells.'
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