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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Employee trains her replacement for 3 months, replacement constantly asks her questions 6 months into the job: 'My old boss has also told me multiple times that he wishes I was still there.'
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Employee finds out their company is hiring their exact position at $18k higher than their current salary: 'We can't adjust everyones salary every time we post a new position'
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Curler refuses to cancel his curling competition to attend his niece's baptism: 'I paid about $200 to participate and my team would be short a player if I didn't show up.'
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Boss tells employee to 'stick to his job description' then complains they're not doing extra work: 'I'm about to reply with a screenshot of the "core responsibilities" section of my contract'
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‘You’re doing the best you can mom and dad!': Parenting laughs and woes for witty mothers and fathers (February 7, 2026)
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