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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Dad decides to return the Christmas gift his kids got him so that he can use the money for his boys' trip, mom refuses to let him go through with it: 'Our kids were so excited'
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Loyal employee is denied PTO request for their birthday, rewards it instead to employee who asked for it verbally because it's 'tradition': 'She had multiple weekends off [...] but my request was denied'
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Trespassing man "gifts" neighbor a fully mowed lawn without their knowledge, destroying homeowner's carefully cultivated ecosystem: 'Stay off our property'
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Coworkers refuse to tell employee making $20/hr how much they make, are afraid it will embarrass them: 'Then they give me this like disgusted look like, "oh..."'
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Parents give 17-year-old and sister a car for Christmas, get upset when she asks for another gift because she won't be able to use it: 'It won't benefit me in any way'
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