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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Employee leaves at 2 PM daily to pick up kids from school, manager complains they only work 5 hours a day: 'There wasn't much indication of willingness to change'
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Employee takes 3 weeks of PTO, returns to work feeling as burnt out as he did before the vacation: 'My motivation for work is basically gone.'
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Employee doing the work of 2 people asks company for a $40K raise: 'It would cost the company $120K to hire another employee to do my previous job.'
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Employee works 60 hour weeks only for promotion to go to director's brother-in-law, fears getting fired when he reduces hours down to 40: 'I increased productivity by 3x'
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Remote employee quits, boss forces them to travel across the country and stay 3 months to finish their work: 'No is a complete sentence'
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