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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Every time employee takes a PTO day they still end up 40 hours/week to cover it, nullifying the PTO: 'I should've worked 24 hours but I worked double that'
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Job rescinds their offer to prospective employee after they inquired about time off: 'Your request for planned time off raised concerns regarding alignment with our current expectations'
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Roommates move out of apartment, receive invoice for $10k of renovations 3 months later: 'I don't believe we are responsible'
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Employee leaves corporate job to accept dream startup role, wants to leave after 3 months: 'I feel like I'm wasting time'
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Employee works 7 days/week from January to June, is denied a raise at the end of the year: 'Effectively, I will lose money this year to inflation'
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