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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Company gets rid of incentive to work on holidays and weekends, act 'surprised and disappointed' when nobody signs up to work holidays: 'You only get as much loyalty as you're willing to pay for'
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Tolkien Tuesday: The Best Lord of the Rings Memes This Week
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Single mom asks friend to help her pay her bills for a year despite having $25K in savings: 'I paid 20% of her rent, paid for her phone bill and helped with groceries and clothes for her kids.'
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Entitled high school student misses presentation deadline, gives 'invoice' to teacher petitioning for passing grade: 'Emotional labor during class: 2 hours'
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Dad complains of anger when spending more than 70 minutes a week with kids, bemoans having to play baseball with 4-year-old son on a Saturday: 'I just don't want to be there'
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