Seems Like They're Really Getting to the Crust of the Matter

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Seems Like They're Really Getting to the Crust of the Matter
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After reading this groan-worthy pizza puns, I really feel like I could use a margherita. - Matty Malaprop

Does That Mean I'm Allowed to Cut You Down?

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Does That Mean I'm Allowed to Cut You Down?
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Maybe I'm just too cynical to appreciate love, but I've always felt like weddings are simply mulch ado about nothing. - Matty Malaprop

The Amount of Likes on This Post Just Keeps Going Up

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The Amount of Likes on This Post Just Keeps Going Up
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Good or bad, elevator sex always ends with someone getting the shaft. If you know what I mean. - Matty Malaprop

Musings on Music Theory

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Musings on Music Theory
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Or musings on music in general... pssk, I don't even know. All I know is I'm a 12-year-old when it comes to giggling at the mention of "G-strings." - Matty Malaprop

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