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By jojodmo2010 (Via: Cheezburger iOS Builder)
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And this right here is why I always get a little irked when doctors try and get cheeky with their 25 cents worth. - Matty Malaprop

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And this, children, is what happens when you open your big mouthpieces. - Matty Malaprop

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By floatingpoint
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This overly long Facebook abomination is your fault, Darth Waiter... - Matty Malaprop

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By IG Joe
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... and also wouldn't it be "ARRRRange?" Ugh, some punsters' children... - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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Her boyfriend's name is Douglas Fir, but what she doesn't know is he's been pollenating with other lady-trees and is now a carrier of Phytophthora root rot. - Matty Malaprop