He Ain't No CoinStar!

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Gandalf the Grader

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The Amount of Likes on This Post Just Keeps Going Up

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Good or bad, elevator sex always ends with someone getting the shaft. If you know what I mean. - Matty Malaprop

SMP CLASSIC: Still No Change

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And this right here is why I always get a little irked when doctors try and get cheeky with their 25 cents worth. - Matty Malaprop

I Always Take These Kind of Jokes for Pomegranate

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Orange you glad I don't post too terribly many of these things every week? - Matty Malaprop

Tree's a Crowd

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Her boyfriend's name is Douglas Fir, but what she doesn't know is he's been pollenating with other lady-trees and is now a carrier of Phytophthora root rot. - Matty Malaprop

Seems Like They're Really Getting to the Crust of the Matter

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After reading this groan-worthy pizza puns, I really feel like I could use a margherita. - Matty Malaprop