This Could Only Be Better Under One Circumstance...

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answer,double meaning,equestrian,equestrianism,fellers,fellows,literalism,question,rich,slang,surname
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... and that circumstance would be if his name was Fuddyduddy Fop. #HaveIMentionedILoveTheTermFuddyDuddy? - Matty Malaprop

Police Always Know How to Put a Negative Spin on Things

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assault,battery,charge,contacts,copper,police,slang,variations on a theme
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In the end, he wound up in a holding Duracell, but he tried to stay positive about the whole messy affair. - Matty Malaprop

I'm Butter, Too

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mattress,toast,jelly,jealous,slang,shorthand,thematic
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It's a pretty sweet mattress, to be sure, but the way it crunches whenever a cinnaman is over is a little awkward... - Matty Malaprop

Sweet Kicks, Bro!

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cereal,double meaning,homophone,kicks,kix,literalism,shoes,slang
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Air Jordans might be more expensive, but this guy knows you can't beat shoes that are kid-tested and mother-approved! - Matty Malaprop

The Seventh Book Really is a Joke

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double meaning,Harry Potter,internet speak,j-k-rowling,jk,just kidding,lingo,literalism,lol,slang
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After all, I was Rowling in my seat in agony after I finished the epilogue... - Matty Malaprop