The man then proceeded to wolf down his meal while his animal friends stood by, bearly able to watch such a gruesome spectacle. - Matty Malaprop

I'm sure there's another reason it doesn't work in the canon, but that probably doesn't lend itself to a pun as easily. - Matty Malaprop

Look at these two, lumbering their way through a totally insignificant birch-fest.

... sorry, that was terrible AND non-sensical. I just don't know that many tree-related puns... :( - Matty Malaprop

I don't know about the rest of you, but my parents always had a knack for predicting arrival times at places to a T. - Matty Malaprop

Can we please just go back to mono-fart jokes as the de fact form of lowbrow entertainment? Please??? - Matty Malaprop

Don't let the haters bring you down, hedge-bro. Just walk on by and tell 'em they gotta go fast if they want to jack your swag, or something. #WHATAMIEVENSAYING - Matty Malaprop

Remarkable, sure, but it's also a congenital defect that causes her great amounts of pain every day. :( - Matty Malaprop