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Hair grows by any other name
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Following great treachery from seedy family members, Hamlet must now Rogaine his position as rightful hair to his father's throne. - Matty Malaprop

Tasting your food is too mainstream
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Every veteran hipster knows you don't drink your coffee until you've chain-smoked four cigarettes, duh! - Matty Malaprop

Via: Niquez Mavie
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He just gets like this sometimes, but he always eternal returns to form eventually. - Matty Malaprop