That's Sadly Not Enough to Reserve a John Wilkes Booth...

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That's Sadly Not Enough to Reserve a John Wilkes Booth...
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A penny? Seriously? Abe might have been an honest dude, but that doesn't mean he wasn't a stinkin' cheapskate. - Matty Malaprop

In the End, The Pun is Still a Cliché

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In the End, The Pun is Still a Cliché
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Apparently the Derp who made this rage comic didn't bother checking our archives... but I'm flattered he felt compelled to send it here first! - Matty Malaprop

Maybe He Pressed Jobs Too Hard?

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Maybe He Pressed Jobs Too Hard?
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After all, he was the former CEO's main squeeze. #ApplesAreTotallyOrangesNow #Didn'tYouGetTheMemo? - Matty Malaprop

An Inbred Jack Russell Terrier...

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An Inbred Jack Russell Terrier...
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He's even cuter than his not-genetically-compromised counterparts! - Matty Malaprop

F'in A

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F'in A
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It's an expletive within an expletive! - Matty Malaprop