Lost Money on a Horse

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Was its name Chips Ahoy!? Well, it doesn't matter really. Just try and Hold Steady next time and you'll probably come out okay. - Matty Malaprop

I love the smell of neigh-palm in the morning.

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Apocalypse Now,famous,heart of darkness,homophones,horror,horse,literalism,napalm,neigh,palm,phrase,quote,quotes
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It's Probably Also Hard for Him to Stay Foaly on Track

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a head,ahead,Hall of Fame,head,homophones,horse,Horse Racing,literalism,racing,space,the headless horseman
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It's kind of a catch-22, really. If you don't bet on the headless horseman, you're probably going to get murdered. If you do bet on the headless horseman, your wallet's probably going to get murdered. CONUNDRUM. - Matty Malaprop

SMP CLASSIC: He Was Quite Foal of it, If You Will

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classic,doctors,emergency room,horse,prognosis,stable
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To respond to hongalabongala's original write-up: yes, this has been posted before, but I'm posting it again because ASSHORSES ARE NEVER NOT FUNNY. - Matty Malaprop

But My Arms Are Getting Tired!

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Hall of Fame,hold,hold your horses,holding,horse,horses,idiom,literalism
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Seriously, why can't the phrase just be "hold your ponies?" I'm starting to lose feeling in my left arm... - Matty Malaprop

Hay, Sorry to Trouble You

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puns,horse
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By Unknown
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Pretty Soon That Horse Won't Even Remember His Name

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double meaning,high,high horse,horse,literalism
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But I'm sure smoking weed in the desert is a nice break from the rain. - Matty Malaprop