Natural Sweetener, I'm a Roof Over Your Head!

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Natural Sweetener, I'm a Roof Over Your Head!
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I guess mine doesn't have quite the same ring to it... - Matty Malaprop

Home, Home on the Range

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Home, Home on the Range
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Where the X and the Y only meet at one point and continue forever away. - Matty Malaprop

ICWUDT, Draw Something Player

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ICWUDT, Draw Something Player
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So this one time I was drunkenly trying to Draw Something and my word was Shaq and all I could muster was a long stick figure and I couldn't even draw a circle correctly for his head so I blurred it out and then erased it and then screwed it up again and then dropped my phone so I just obscured the whole image with the word Kazaam. What I'm trying to say is: I'm really, really bad at Draw Something. - Matty Malaprop

Fathers Always Come Up With Creative <em>Pun</em>ishments

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Fathers Always Come Up With Creative <em>Pun</em>ishments
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I like the way they emphasize the puns with CAPS LOCK. Oh wait. Actually, I don't like that at all. Never mind. - Matty Malaprop

This Family Always Takes Their Meals On Wheels!

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This Family Always Takes Their Meals On Wheels!
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... and their baths, and their television time, and their family portraits, and... - Matty Malaprop

For Alm Your Fixer Upper Needs

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For Alm Your Fixer Upper Needs
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Because you really haven't lived until you've seen a monk spackle a wall using nothing but a bag of white rice. - Matty Malaprop