He Wants to Touch Your Turtleneck

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double meaning,Hall of Fame,hand,innuendo,jobs,literalism,steve jobs
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Yes, yes, I did just use "turtleneck" as an innuendo. YOU WANNA MAKE SOMETHING OF IT, PUNK?? - Matty Malaprop

John Handcock

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john hancock,hand,chicken,added letter,literalism
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With hands as plucky as his, it's a wonder he was ever able to scribble a signature at all! - Matty Malaprop

He's a Big Fan of Wares That Don't Cost an Arm and a Leg

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answer,captain hook,double meaning,hand,literalism,question,second,secondhand,twitter
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Quite frankly I'm not convinced he didn't just take the job in hopes of scoring some discounted Tinkerbells. - Matty Malaprop

But How Fast Can He Make the Kessel Run?

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star wars,similar sounding,added letter,Han Solo,hand
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Before you even ask; yes, he high-fived first. - Matty Malaprop

Hand Soap

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Hall of Fame,hand,hand soap,hands,literalism,punception,shape,soap
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... but not a variety I'd like to wash up with any time soon, thankyouverymuch. #SOCREEPY #THEYLOOKLIKEDOLLHANDS - Matty Malaprop

Hooray... Friendship...

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facebook,guesses,Hall of Fame,hand,innuendo,relationship,self pleasure,solo,suggestions
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My guess is that they were only trying to lend Christopher a helping hand, though something tells me he's perfectly capable of handling the situation himself. - Matty Malaprop

My Favorite Neil Diamond Song

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Hall of Fame,ham,hams,hand,hands,literalism,lyrics,mii,misinterpretation,similar sounding,song,wii
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Wait... are you trying to tell me that song isn't about delicious pork-based noms? That's just crazy talk! - Matty Malaprop