SMP CLASSIC: Well At Least Your Bifocals Are the Right Prescription

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He may be able to see now at least, but he'll still never overcome the social astigmatism attached to flip-phones in this day and age. - Matty Malaprop

Imagine Singing Citrus; It's Easy if You Try

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Just make sure you don't mix him with Mean Mr. Mustard, and you'll be fine. - Matty Malaprop

No, I Meant Let's Make a Toast!

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Why is she being scolded for her behavior? I just don't see what the problem is here! - Matty Malaprop

And They Don't Even Cell My Prescription Here!

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Without any corrective gear, my vision's fuzzier than an AT&T signal in the wilds of Montana. #rimshot - Matty Malaprop

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