And eggs.

On second thought, please don't answer that... - Matty Malaprop

Ever since he made that last Rambo movie, his friend and relationship prospects have all become a little Rocky. - Matty Malaprop

My love life is like the gondola scene from Lady and the Tramp, but with more icebergs and horrible death. - Matty Malaprop

For more sinking relationships, head over to Dating Fails!

If you're going to be forever alone, at least your bath bubbles can keep you company this way! - Matty Malaprop

Orange soda-flavored lipgloss does sound quite delicious, to be fair... - Matty Malaprop

Forever a Dating Fail.