On second thought, please don't answer that... - Matty Malaprop
My love life is like the gondola scene from Lady and the Tramp, but with more icebergs and horrible death. - Matty Malaprop
For more sinking relationships, head over to Dating Fails!
Orange soda-flavored lipgloss does sound quite delicious, to be fair... - Matty Malaprop
Forever a Dating Fail.
Ferris wheel? More like unfairest wheel, amirite? - Matty Malaprop
Sallie Mae is not your girlfriend, no matter how much you'd like to believe otherwise. - Matty Malaprop
Ever since he made that last Rambo movie, his friend and relationship prospects have all become a little Rocky. - Matty Malaprop
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