That Explains the Shape of His Nose, I Guess

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That Explains the Shape of His Nose, I Guess
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And here he thought trying to jump over that concrete barrier was gonna make him look so cool! But alas, he just ended up with egg on his face. - Matty Malaprop

It's Still Difficult to Tell the Difference...

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It's Still Difficult to Tell the Difference...
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His happy face may still be somewhat gorgon-esque, but at least he isn't Howard Stern... - Matty Malaprop

ICWUDT Happy Chair Holdover

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ICWUDT Happy Chair Holdover
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(W)Hose to say why this house is so happy? I'm certainly blinds as to the reason. - Matty Malaprop

What a Surreal Conversation...

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What a Surreal Conversation...
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I have a guess at what's the matter: U is missing an umlaut with which to see! - Matty Malaprop

Imagine Her Chagrin When She Realized She Was Holding a Fern

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Imagine Her Chagrin When She Realized She Was Holding a Fern
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... but I guess that's just the kind of infernal luck she always has. - Matty Malaprop

Reason Number 1,307,248 Not to Trust Craigslist

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Reason Number 1,307,248 Not to Trust Craigslist
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The part of her ad this comic doesn't show is the creepiest part of all: "I've got the love of a thousand hearts to give you, and I can offer you ass for days..." - Matty Malaprop