Hilariously Stupid Pun FTW

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face,FTW,hilarious,literalism,long,long face,obvious,question,stupid,why
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You get it? Because, like, his face is elongated, and stuff. - Matty Malaprop

Reason Number 1,307,248 Not to Trust Craigslist

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Ad,blonde,blue eyes,body,creepy,description,double meaning,face,female,Hall of Fame,internet,literalism,lolwut,model,personal
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The part of her ad this comic doesn't show is the creepiest part of all: "I've got the love of a thousand hearts to give you, and I can offer you ass for days..." - Matty Malaprop

That Explains the Shape of His Nose, I Guess

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face,literalism,eggplant,double meaning,plant,face plant
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And here he thought trying to jump over that concrete barrier was gonna make him look so cool! But alas, he just ended up with egg on his face. - Matty Malaprop

ICWUDT Happy Chair Holdover

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face,Hall of Fame,happy chair is happy,house,literalism,optical illusion,resemblance,shape,smile
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(W)Hose to say why this house is so happy? I'm certainly blinds as to the reason. - Matty Malaprop

He's My Favorite Marvel-Type Pokémon

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Exeggutor,face,literalism,Pokémon,shoop,similar sounding,suffix,Thor
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He can hypnotize me anytime, if you know what I mean. - Matty Malaprop

So How Does One 'Twitter' Then?

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book,doing it wrong,face,facebook,literalism,question,twitter
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I'm thinking you find an annoying younger brother and shout "ER! ER! ER!" at him ad nauseam until he starts crying, but I could well be mistaken on this one. - Matty Malaprop